


Playlist of the Year: 2

by devils_church



Series: Playlist of the Year [1]
Category: Ghost (Swedish Band), Priest (Swedish Band)
Genre: Its all gay, Linton Rubino I wrote that smut for you, Linton is stubborn, M/M, Tobias was a jackass, cute shit, lots of songs, they have good fucking sex in chapter nine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 04:56:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 34,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14742383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devils_church/pseuds/devils_church
Summary: Things fell apart between Tobias and Linton. Now there’s a chance for things to rekindle.





	1. 1. Don’t Know What You’ve Got

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoy this dumb shit.

## 1\. Don’t Know What You’ve Got

It had only been a couple years, but Tobias felt like his life had steadily declined since Linton left for good. Linton had left the band and Tobias felt a part of him beginning to deteriorate without the other by his side most of the time. Their relationship from school had ended a couple years after it began, but at least the breakup was mutual. They knew that they'd come together again later on in life. 

When that happened, Tobias had been ecstatic. He didn't want to peg him as his favorite ghoul, so he chose to stick to Martin, who went by the names Omega and Aether. Linton had been Water. To tease him every now, Tobias would call him his little raindrop. The small giggles that it would wring out of Linton were worth it. 

They were fine when Linton was in the band. They had a thing going on. It wasn't a relationship by any means and they seemed to be alright with it. 

That was until Tobias was becoming a little too cocky and Linton had tried to tell him to settle down before things got too bad. 

—

_"Tobias," Linton said to the other on a day off. They were in the middle of a tour, but it needed to be said. He couldn't wait much longer. "Can I talk to you?"_

_"You are right now," Tobias sassed him._

_"I mean elsewhere," Linton specified as his eyes glanced over the other band members. He hadn't brought this up with them because he didn't want to. This was going to be a conversation between him and Tobias._

_Tobias shrugged a bit and stood up to follow Linton to the back of the bus where they sat in the lounge in silence. Linton didn't know how to go about this. He had never talked to Tobias about this side of him because he was scared to. He could get angry and defensive when he felt attacked, and Linton never responded well to anyone like that. The last thing he wanted to do was go off on Tobias and cause something to form between them._

_"So, what are we doing?" Tobias asked as he looked at Linton, "Are you gonna talk to me or not? I've got others who want my attention, too, you know."_

_Linton hesitated before scoffing softly. "Funny you say that. It's actually comments like that that I want to talk to you about."_

_Tobias pulled a confused expression by furrowing his eyebrows and tilting his head slightly. "What do you mean?"_

_"Your attitude. You've been full of yourself lately."_

_"Someone in this band has to be."_

_"No, actually, I don't think anyone has to be like that."_

_"Well, I'm the only one comfortable enough with myself to do it, so." Tobias shrugged and sat back, crossing his arms over his chest. Linton had a look of annoyance on his face, but he didn't care to notice or think twice about it. He had pulled that look a lot recently. Why should he be concerned about it? To him, it was Linton who was acting up. "I'm not full of myself. I'm just proud of how far I've come."_

_"How far **you've** come? Just you?" Linton asked as his eyebrows shot up. _

_"Yeah, just me. You make it sound like that's a bad thing."_

_"Tobias, if you're proud of yourself about your personal life, I understand that, but..." Linton scoffed a second time and shook his head. "Are you talking about the band and how it's come or just you?"_

_"No, the band. I formed it. I'm the reason it's gotten this far. You guys are just the musicians," Tobias told him, "I'm proud of the little clergy I've made."_

_Linton didn't know what he was expecting, but he surely wasn't expecting an answer like that. For a good minute, he couldn't even do anything. He was torn between wanting to deck Tobias and wanting to quit right then and there. If that was how Tobias felt then he'd have no problem finding a replacement for him._

_Tobias had been self-centered since school, but now Linton was seeing just how bad he was. He didn't know that anyone could get this bad, but he was being corrected with each sentence Tobias spoke. This man was truly in love with himself and ignored everyone else who helped him get where he was._

_It's like he was blind. Not even blind. It's like he was looking into a mirror and instead of glancing around him, he got so used to seeing himself in the mirror that he decided to praise the image rather than the others around him. That hurt Linton, especially since he thought that he had once changed Tobias from being like this._

_"Is that all you view me as?" Linton finally asked. Tobias didn't look up from the nail that he was picking at. Linton clenched his jaw. "Tobias."_

_"What?"_

_"Look at me."_

_Tobias rolled his eyes, but brought his head up to look at his former lover. He had never seen Linton this angry. Back in the day, it would've been a turn on for him, but now it didn't do anything for him at all._

_" **What**?" The singer snapped moodily, "Spit out what you're trying to say."_

_It took everything in him to not slap Tobias around until he was bleeding. His patience and kindness was testing him, but he had to respect the other. A fight wouldn't solve anything. It would just get Linton escorted off of the bus and thrown onto the sidewalk with nothing but the clothes on his back. Linton wasn't about to be in that predicament._

_"I just don't think that that's the kind of attitude that the band needs," Linton said calmly, "It's giving off a bad energy."_

_"'Bad energy?' Linton, you do realize that we make songs about fucking and Satan, right? 'Bad energy' is kind of our thing."_

_"Being full of yourself isn't our thing," he said in an angry tone, "and that's what you are."_

_Tobias tensed up a bit. Just like in school, he wasn't used to being spoken to like this. But after all, Linton was the only one back in school who tried to test him, so he should've expected this to happen again at one point or another._

_"Bullshit," he spat, "I'm not."_

_"You just said that you're the main reason for the band's success. You aren't. There are other members."_

_"So? I formed the band, Linton."_

_"And we support it! **We** are the damn band!"_

_"Exactly! You guys support it! I'm the one doing all the work."_

_"That's not how I meant it," Linton growled, "You fucking prick."_

_All Tobias did was chuckle then scoff softly. "Whatever, Linton. This conversation is ridiculous."_

_The bassist was so pissed off that he couldn't think of anything else to say. Tobias stood up and headed for the door as Linton stayed seated whilst fuming. The singer didn't think much of it. It was obvious to him that he had won this argument and that it wouldn't come up again because he had shut Linton down. He had nothing to worry about._

_That was until Linton announced that he was leaving a couple weeks later._

_"What do you mean you're quitting?" Tobias asked him, "You can't just fucking leave."_

_"I can and I am," Linton confirmed, "Leave me alone."_

_"Why the fuck are you leaving?"_

_"Because the man I once loved is treating me like shit!" Linton yelled at him suddenly, "I thought that being around you again would be fine, but apparently not because you turned into a selfish asshole over the years when we didn't talk! I won't be the one who always tries to fix you because I can't! I can't fix you! Not when you can't even see the fucking issue with yourself!"_

_His words hurt Tobias and Tobias knew that they did. He didn't want to admit that to himself, though. Instead he focused on being pissed at Linton yelling at him._

_What was this musician who stood in the background doing thinking that he could talk to Tobias, the lead singer for the band, like that? Tobias had to shove him into his place and give him a piece of his mind._

_"You always think so fucking highly of yourself," Tobias said harshly, "'I did this' and 'I did that' and 'I tried to help you.' Shut the fuck up, Linton. Get off your high horse and realize that you were just a normal fucking person in our relationship."_

_"You never once called me normal. You called me special and perfect, and the love of your fucking life." Linton didn't want to get emotional. He told himself that he wouldn't. Their relationship had ended long ago. He couldn't get upset about it all over again. "You called me unique because I was the only man you had ever been in love with. What am I now? Huh? Tell me, Tobias, what am I to you now?"_

_Tobias didn't reply. Linton was right. He remembered everything he said to him. How could he forget all those days and nights with Linton by his side? How could he forget the sweet whispers that they'd share during the most random times?_

_He couldn't. No matter how hard he tried. He could never forget the times and the bonds that he shared with Linton._

_But those days were gone. They were over. They were both in new chapters of their lives and Linton needed to get over it. Tobias needed to get over it._

_"You can't quit because you're fired," Tobias changed the subject. Linton's mouth fell open and Tobias held back the urge to shut himself up. Something in him knew that this wasn't the right thing to do, but he couldn't stop himself. "I want you gone before the next tour starts. I'll find a replacement soon."_

_"You fucking bitch–"_

_"Until then, don't look at me. Don't talk to me. Don't do anything. Fuck off."_

_Linton couldn't say anything again. Tobias had made his decision and they both knew that that decision was final. Even though it hurt parts of both of them, they didn't fight it. They went with it._

_When the next tour came up, Linton wasn't there. He was at home while Tobias was doing what he loved, which was being praised for **his** work, even though it wasn't solely his work._

—

At the current moment, Tobias was drunk and alone in the bar. His band mates had left him. He had taken their money because of his mindset– Thinking that because he formed the band that he should've been the one getting all the money. Not them. Now he was alone and the band felt more like a solo project than anything else. 

It hurt Tobias to be alone. He didn't know what to do with himself. The pillars in him had broken and he was crumbling down, but he couldn't help but try and appear cocky. That would make people respect him, he thought. 

Little did he know that people in the music scene were losing respect for him day by day. 

He tried to stay away from the spotlight after everything happened. Of course he was attempting to keep the band going, but that was hard. It didn't feel the same. He had lost his best friends because of how narcissistic he was and that was taking a toll on how energetic he was when it came to the band. 

The driving force behind everything wasn't there anymore. His stage theatrics could only go so far. Without others backing him up, he couldn't do much. 

It was then that he realized that maybe Linton was right. Maybe he did need others to help him out. He wasn't as strong as he thought he was. People didn't like the band just because of him. They liked the band for the musicians and him. 

That hurt him to think about. 

Tobias sighed and rested his head down against the counter while his fingers were wrapped around the glass of beer in his hand. The song that came on hit him in the heart and he hated it. After the first line was sung, he gave a long groan and slammed his head down against the wood below his forehead. 

_...I can't tell you, baby, what went wrong..._

He wished that he had brought his earbuds with him. He'd be able to drown out this song. Not only was the singer annoying, but the lyrics spoke to Tobias and he knew it. 

"You good, man?" The bartender asked. 

Forcing himself to bring his head up, Tobias sighed and shrugged. "Is anyone ever good?"

The bartender shrugged. He had heard many responses like that throughout his time at this job. To him, Tobias was just another drunk. "I have no idea. What's got you down?"

"I lost all my friends and the love of my damn life," Tobias groaned out as he rested his head on his fist. 

"Well... Just like the song says." The bartender grabbed his cloth and wiped down the spot next to Tobias, smirking as he spoke, " _You don't know what you've got till it's gone_."

Tobias groaned again. "Please shut up."

The bartender laughed and went back to what he was doing as Tobias opened his eyes and stared ahead at him. He was daydreaming. Thinking about Linton and how bad he fucked up. 

He missed him. He'd do anything just to catch a glimpse of him again. His hair, despite how messy it was, and his smile. His small stature and his ridiculous outfits that he wore on days when they didn't have anything to do. His giggles and laughs, and the way that he'd cup his hands over his mouth when he was surprised. 

He missed all of Linton. Even the way that he yelled at Tobias and tried to help him. 

Tobias felt stupid for not listening to him. 

_...I can't feel the things that cause you pain..._

"Want something else to drink?" The bartender asked, bringing Tobias's attention back to the real world, "That beer is probably warm by now."

The hazel eyed man looked down at his drink and hesitated. He didn't even know what he wanted. All he could think about was Linton. Alcohol was the last thing on his mind, even though it was coursing through his veins. 

"No, I want someone," Tobias told him, "His name is Linton."

"Oh, I see. Well, we don't have that here."

"Hah. You're so funny," Tobias grumbled sarcastically, "But do you know who Linton is?"

"What's he look like?" 

"He's short... for a guy. Dresses terribly."

"What color hair?"

"Dark brown. His haircut is unflattering."

"Does he have facial hair?"

"I don't know."

"Well, there's that guy," the bartender said as he pointed to someone who was sat at a table across the bar. 

Tobias immediately turned around, which didn't help his hazy vision. It took a moment for his eyes to focus on the crowd then scan it over. His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt like he was about to fall off his stool, but he didn't. 

He didn't because he saw Linton and he didn't want to embarrass himself. 

Tobias's lack of response told the bartender that he had been right, so he left him alone for the moment. He didn't want to be in the middle of whatever was going on between them. He wasn't even sure if he had done the right thing by pointing him out to Tobias. 

Linton was out with someone Tobias didn't recognize due to how foggy his vision was, but that was the least of his worries. Linton was still alive. He was breathing and seemed happy. That's what mattered most. 

It took another minute or two before Linton looked over. Seeing a clearly smashed Tobias was the last thing he wanted to lay his eyes upon, but here he was. Looking into the unfocused eyes of a man who had fucked him over. 

"Fuck..." Tobias mumbled to himself. There he was. There was the previous love of his life. Tobias felt relieved, but Linton didn't look that way at all. In fact, he was pissed. 

He broke the eye contact to lean over and whisper to his friend that he'd be leaving and that he was sorry. His friend didn't question it and he was thankful for that. 

For a moment, Tobias thought that Linton was going to come over to him. That wasn't the case. Instead, Linton glared at him then stormed out of the bar without saying anything to Tobias. 

_...Can't you just give me one more day?.._

Tobias's heart sank and he stared at the door, hoping that it would open again and that Linton would walk in. That didn't happen, though. Not after a minute. Not after five. And no, not even after ten. 

Linton wasn't coming back that night and that was slowly sinking in for Tobias. He was alone again. His small shimmer of hope had left along with his old bassist. He deserved it, though. He just didn't know it. 

Due to his drunken state, Tobias couldn't remember much of the night after that. He drank more until the bartender cut him off then got him home with someone's help. The last thing Tobias wanted to do was think about how awful he felt after he watched Linton leave and thankfully, that worked out for him. That seemed to be the only thing that he could do right.


	2. 2. Wasted Time

## 2\. Wasted Time

"I can't believe I saw him. I managed to avoid him for years and the one night that I go out to enjoy myself, he's there!" Linton was pissed. It had been a week since he saw Tobias, but this was the first time that he was venting to someone about it. "Jesus, I thought I was free of this shit."

"Calm down, you'll be fine," Mauro insisted. He didn't like seeing Linton, his son, so worked up, especially over something like this. He was well aware of what Tobias had put him through and he wasn't a fan of him for it, but he needed to calm the other down somehow. "Did he say anything to you?"

"No," Linton huffed out, "but he looked at me!"

"...He just looked at you?"

"Yes! It was awful!"

Perhaps Linton was a being a bit dramatic. He had every right to be pissed off, but sometimes he took things a little too far. At least he wasn't as bad as Tobias. He knew when to stop himself and realize when he wasn't acting the way he should've been. 

"Maybe if you just talk to him and sort things out, it won't be so bad," Mauro suggested. He knew that Linton didn't want to hear that, but he said it anyway. "It's good to talk things out."

"If I talk to him, I'll punch him," Linton said flatly. 

"Get a little buzzed then talk to him."

Linton scoffed and headed into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. He couldn't believe his own father was telling him something like this. Also, he couldn't believe his own father had worked with Tobias despite everything that had happened. Linton told him that he was a dumbass, but Mauro didn't care. He said he wanted to determine whether Tobias was a good person or not despite what his son told him. 

He was almost as stubborn as Tobias. 

"Son, I don't think you should avoid him. His life has been stressful recently," Mauro said sympathetically. He walked over and leaned against the counter near Linton. Linton walked away. "Linton..."

"So? Why should I care? He put himself in that position," Linton said emotionlessly, "He told me himself that he didn't view the other members of the band as people who were important. He said that before the whole lawsuit went down."

Mauro couldn't argue with that. He wasn't pleased with most of Tobias's decisions, but he couldn't help but work with him to see how Tobias did things. Maybe he'd understand why he was the way he was. Maybe he wouldn't. Only time would tell. 

"Still. I think you should talk to him," Mauro insisted. 

"What would I even say?" Linton asked as he leaned against the counter on the opposite side of the kitchen. The glass of water was still in his hand, but he hadn't taken a drink from it yet. "'Hey, sorry that you fucked yourself over?' Is that it?"

"Linton, no–"

"'I kinda wanna punch you and make that ugly ass nose of yours a little more fucked up–'"

"Linton, stop–"

"I'm being honest!" Linton yelled, "That's what I would say to him!" 

Mauro knew that there was no point in attempting to convince Linton that talking to Tobias was a good decision, so he left it at that. He waved his hands then retreated upstairs to retrieve his keytar and begin learning new songs as Linton scoffed and mumbled things to himself.

As much as he didn't want to admit it, maybe his father was right. He couldn't spend his life avoiding someone. That was childish, and Linton wasn't about to stoop to Tobias's level. He was better than that. He was better than this. He would be fine if he confronted Tobias. 

He might get arrested for fighting him. But at least he'd be face to face with the one who dragged him through Hell for absolutely no reason. 

Setting his untouched water down, Linton sighed and walked into the living to sit down on the sofa. He had to think about what he was going to do, no matter how crazy it drove him.

—

Linton was dreading this, but it needed to be done. He was sitting at a table in the bar where he had last seen Tobias and was waiting for him. He caved into his father's words and agreed that he needed to speak to the other about what had happened. Without a doubt, it would make him angry, but it was better to try and solve it rather than to let it sit and destroy the both of them. 

For years, Linton had been hurting and he hadn't told Tobias because he couldn't stand the thought of it. It was the greatest amount of betrayal that he had ever felt and he couldn't handle it. He found himself acting out of line just to deal with how he felt and the people around him noticed it, as well. They told Linton to forget about it without offering a real solution to what he was dealing with. Linton tried not to think about it because that also made him angry. He was always there for his friends and offering advice even when he didn't know what to do, but when he went to them, they did the bare minimum then wished him the best. 

Overall, Linton was being tired of stepped on like a rug. He wanted to be treated with the same amount of respect that he paid others. However, he had yet to find someone who was actually like that. 

Tobias's eyes scanned the bar before he found Linton sitting at a table. He had a beanie on which pushed back his unfortunate bangs and exposed his forehead. In general, Linton was attractive, but it was nice that he didn't have his hair like he usually did. 

Sitting down across the table from him, Linton groaned under his breath immediately. He couldn't help it. This was going to be the first time talking to him for years and he wasn't exactly ready for it. He wasn't sure whether he'd explode or breakdown crying by telling him how he felt, but his father's words were echoing around his mind. He needed to do this. He had to confront Tobias. 

"How are you?" Linton asked to start with. He was going to be polite for as long as possible. It was the least he could and perhaps it'd make this a bit easier. "It's been a while."

Tobias was shocked by how Linton was acting right off the bat. He expected the other to deck him and stomp his face in, but he wasn't being like that. He had to be nice to him just to protect himself. 

Linton didn't seem intimidating, but Tobias knew that he could very easily get like that. 

"I'm... fine," Tobias forced out. He didn't want to dump all of his problems out. Nodding slowly, he placed his hands on the table and shrugged. "Yeah, I've been rather... okay. And you?"

"Decent," Linton replied shortly. 

An awkward silence fell over them for a couple minutes. Tobias was playing with a rubber bracelet he had had on his wrist and Linton was tapping his knuckles against the table absentmindedly. There was much to talk about, but neither of them knew how to bring it up. 

"I'm sorry," Tobias apologized suddenly. Linton stopped his tapping and brought his brown eyes to meet the other's gaze. 

"For what?" He asked. He wanted to hear what Tobias believed he had done wrong. 

"Everything." He scoffed and swallowed thickly. "I feel like I've messed up so much."

"Well... Not to be a dick, but you have."

The words hurt Tobias, but he knew that they were true. And Linton wasn't here to sugarcoat how he felt, so he was going to have to deal with it. 

"I screwed up the one thing that meant the world to me and now I'm just... lonely and sad, and I feel like a failure."

"The band didn't fail," Linton told him, "You know that."

" _I_ failed," Tobias corrected him, "I did this to myself."

"I know."

"I don't know why I'm the way that I am and I want to change. I have to because I'm not going down the right path and I'm losing people everyday," Tobias went on. He started choking up and Linton raised his eyebrows. He didn't expect him to become emotional so quickly, but there wasn't much he could do to stop it. From the looks of it, Tobias hadn't admitted this aloud before and now that he was, it was hurting him even more. "I think about the things I said to you and I hate myself for them. I don't know why I ever thought that way, but I did and it got... It got me here with no one supporting me and being around me."

"Because you cut everyone off," Linton snapped, "You cut _me_ off like I meant nothing to you. You thought so highly of yourself that you didn't even think about how other people felt– how _I_ felt– when you did the things you did." 

"I know. I know, I'm sorry."

"Are you?" He snapped again. Back in school, Tobias was the one who practically barked how he felt, but now it was Linton. It's like their personalities had switched over time. "If you were sorry, you would do something about it. You wouldn't fucking mope around and feel sorry for yourself. Own up to what you did. Maybe then you'll fucking feel better."

Tobias was on the verge of crying. He knew Linton was right, but that didn't mean that it didn't upset him. Tears were evident in his eyes as he dropped the bracelet to the surface on the table and brought his hands up to cup his mouth. If he even tried to speak, all that would come out is a sob and he wasn't about to cry like that in public. Not in front of Linton, at least. That would only cause Linton to yell at him more.

However, his reaction alone was enough to make Linton yell. 

"I loved you, Tobias. I loved you more than anything. I loved you so much that I was willing to let you go then have you come back into my life. I shouldn't have been so fucking stupid." Linton's words were like venom and each drop was poisoning Tobias. He deserved each sting and twitch that it brought, but he sat there and took it. He needed to. "I gave you my all both times we were around each other and the second time, you didn't give me shit. All you gave me were threats and a shitty attitude. And you expect me to take your apology right away?"

"No, Linton, I don't–"

"I feel sorry for you. I do. I really, honestly do. Because it must be fucking hard to breathe when your head is shoved that far up your ass."

With that being said, Linton stood up and roughly moved his chair in before he stormed out of the bar like he had done nights prior to this one. Tobias wasn't going to change and if he sat there, all he'd hear is him droning on about how fucked up his life was now because of his actions. 

Tobias had mumbled for him to wait, but Linton didn't care. Either he had heard him and was ignoring him or hadn't heard him at all. No matter what, it still hurt and it brought more tears to his eyes. 

Alone, he sat at the table. He didn't know what else to do. He was alone again which one of the last things he wanted to be. He knew that he had done this to himself, but that didn't mean that he liked it. He had never wanted to be alone– He just wanted to feel like he was in charge. That got him nowhere. 

As Tobias was left in the bar, Linton was speeding down the road to get home. This was a mistake. This didn't help him at all. If anything, it only pissed him off furthermore. Fuck his dad for planting this idea in his mind. Fuck him for setting Linton up for pain and failure. 

He knew he should've stayed home and done nothing about it. Hating Tobias behind his back was working out for the most part. Now he had to deal with the fact that Tobias was actually trying to make him feel sorry for him. Linton wasn't having it. Tobias had dug himself into the hole he was in and he wasn't going to help him get out. He had warned him before and yet he still went for it. What would make Linton think that the other would listen to him now after ignoring him for years?

Jamming his finger into the button that turned on the radio, he growled then turned it up. He needed to release his anger somehow. After that, he gripped the wheel tightly and inhaled sharply. 

"Fucking Skid Row," he grumbled, " _’Where's my friend I used to know?'_ Huh. Fucking classic. Thank you. Thank you so fucking much."

Even though the lyrics of the song spoke true to him at the moment, he didn't want to be reminded of everything. He was tempted to shut it off before he began paying more attention to what was being said. 

_...Why can't you believe you can be loved?.._

Biting his lower lip, Linton shook his head and turned sharply down a road that lead him out of town. He needed to drive some of the backroads to calm himself down before he decided to go home. If he did that then he would've trashed everything in his sight, and he certainly didn't want to attempt to clean up yet another mess that night. 

Without noticing it, Linton began to mumble the lyrics to the song. Of course he knew the tune, but he had never really processed the lyrics until then. They only saddened him and made him think of Tobias, but he couldn't bring himself to change the station. 

_"Is it all just wasted time? Can you look at yourself when you think of what you left behind?"_

Before he could stop it, a thought about Tobias seeped into his mind. He thought about how poorly he had been treated by him just days before he had left the band and instead of being angry, he felt sad. He felt like he had been used and walked on– Like he didn't mean anything to Tobias. All he was at that point in his life was a step for Tobias to climb up so he reach the top of the ladder when it came to being known in the music scene. 

Tobias's plan had worked. 

But not for the right reason. 

He ruined everything by treating those who helped him like shit and only thinking of himself in the process. People had warned him. It wasn't just Linton. Yet he didn't listen and now here he was. Miserable and alone, and lost in the middle of his mind which had recently been feeling like a vast desert. 

Neither of them knew what to do. And that didn't help their situation.


	3. 3. Is This Love?

## 3\. Is This Love?

Tobias didn't know what to do. He was laying in bed alone with a cigarette between his lips, a bottle of beer on his nightstand, and an album spinning on his record player. The window was cracked open and with the slight breeze from outside, the curtain was fluttering back and forth, just barely brushing against his bent knee every so often. He was alone and the night felt cold and dark, as always. Lately, everything had been feeling that way. It's like he had fallen into a pit and he couldn't escape it. He was stuck and he was the reasoning behind it. 

Throughout his life, people told him not to feel sorry for himself. They said that nobody wanted to be with someone who pitied themselves constantly and did nothing but that. Eventually, those words scared Tobias into thinking that he needed to be anything but that. His escape wasn't healthy, though, seeing as he praised himself instead and blinded himself from the reality of most things. 

At the moment, the reality was that he had fucked over everyone he loved and he was alone and depressed. He hated this reality, but he got himself here. Now he needed to fix it. 

However, that was the problem. Tobias had no idea how to fix it. He had never felt the repercussions of his actions until now and he wasn't sure how to handle it. All he seemed to do was drink, smoke, and cry over the smallest things. He felt broken and lost, and no one was helping him. 

Deep inside, he knew he didn't deserve help. And no, he wasn't pitying himself. He was being honest, for once. He was making himself aware of the reality of the situation and he was breaking down the causes to it. 

He was the cause. Everything about him was. His actions, his motives, his pep-talks to himself in the mirror occasionally, his ways of stealing money– Everything. All of it. Tobias was the cause of his own misery and he was realizing it now. 

Realization hurt more than he wanted it to. He wished that he could grieve for a day then get up and go back to where everything left off. Sadly, it wasn't that easy. Nowadays, he could barely get out of bed, let alone pick up where he left off. That would take too much out of him. 

But even after all of his thinking and reflection, he still couldn't decide what hurt worse. Being alone, being the one at fault, or thinking about how many people he had ruined along the way. 

Martin and Simon had been his friends for years. They trusted him with their lives and all Tobias did was step on them and take what they deserved. When the two left the band and filed a lawsuit, Tobias was pissed. He didn't understand then what his actions had done to them. For years, he had taken their money and withheld it from them, which lead to them struggling to pay bills and whatnot. Tobias didn't think about that because he didn't have to deal with it. All he had to deal with was storing his money away and saving it for future uses. 

Martin had called him out several times and Tobias had thrown shade back at him. It had been going on for about a year and a half, and Martin still wasn't keen on talking to Tobias. Tobias didn't mind, though. He was scared of him now. 

The only one from the past that had reached out to him was Linton, and he was practically guilted into doing so. Tobias felt even worse when it came to him. Linton had been his love interest for years then he left him and when he came back into his life, he was a dick to him. He couldn't even imagine how badly that must've hurt him. To have someone who once loved you to death treat you so cruelly when you try to reconnect with them. 

The thought made Tobias sit up in bed suddenly and groan. He was sick and tired of himself. There needed to be a change in his life. Whether it was driven by him and supported by someone else or vice versa, there had to be something that altered. 

All he could think about was Linton. 

Linton had kept him in line during the time that they dated and it was then that Tobias felt the greatest. Once they broke up, he felt odd and that only progressed until he gassed himself up past the point of return. It wasn't healthy. Linton knew it wasn't and that's why he prevented Tobias from thinking and acting like that. He loved that man more than anything and he knew that he could save him from something like that. 

Now Tobias was catching onto that, finally. 

But it was too late. 

Linton hated him. The thought made Tobias reach over and grab the bottle of beer and take a drink from it. Maybe the alcohol would clear his mind. 

That was quickly proven wrong when a new song came on and bounced off the walls of the room and Tobias's mind. He couldn't bring himself to move from the bed and shut the record player off, so instead he sat there and listened to it as he altered between taking drags from his cigarettes to drinking from the bottle. 

_...I should have known better than let you go alone. It's time like these that I can't make it on my own..._

The lyrics made Tobias think of Linton, but recently everything was doing that. He'd see someone pass by and though no one in the world could ever be Linton, things about them reminded Tobias of him. The way that they'd dress or explain something or look at an object, anything– It made him think of Linton. He'd see something in the windows of shops and he'd wonder if Linton would like it. He didn't know why the other male was invading his train of thought so often, but he couldn't stop it. 

Tobias had contact with Linton and nobody else from what had happened. As far as he knew, everyone wanted to beat him up, including him. However, the only one who would be willing to talk to him after said beating would be Linton. Surely he wouldn't ask Tobias if he was alright, but he would talk to him. 

It was that tiny glimmer of hope that kept Tobias up at night. The small thoughts of Linton kept him going. He would remember his smile and his laugh, and he'd feel something in him come back to life. Linton always made him feel alive. He didn't know how or why, but he did.  

_...I need you by my side to tell me it's alright, 'cause I don't think I can take any more..._

Through his hazy vision, Tobias looked at the wall where a photo of him and Linton had once been. He had misplaced it years ago, but he was longing for it suddenly. 

Scratch that. He wasn't longing for the picture. He was longing for Linton. 

The man drove him crazy, but he cherished him back then. He wanted to do that again. He wanted to feel Linton beside him and he wanted to smile at him for minutes without Linton noticing. He wanted to run his fingers through his hair and kiss his cheek to make him smile. He wanted to do everything that they had once done and he wanted to make everything alright. He had to. He needed Linton. 

_...Is this love or am I dreaming? This must be love 'cause it's really got a hold on me..._

Tobias stood up– wobbly, albeit– from the bed and went to the bathroom. He needed to reevaluate things. Things being his life and his actions. He could never repeat what he had done and he knew that. It was all becoming clear suddenly. 

This was the worst he had ever felt in life and he needed to change it. He needed just a little part of the past back and he knew it. 

Hopefully Linton would be that part of the past. 

Without a doubt, Tobias knew that his feelings for Linton could resurface. They had never really gone away. There was always a pull that he felt to him and he couldn't ignore it. Especially not now. 

As he stood facing the mirror, Tobias sighed and ran his hands over his face. New wrinkles had shown up and he hated them. He was stressed beyond belief. Perhaps Linton could help with that, if he even wanted to. 

Tobias was getting ahead of himself, but he couldn't help it. Linton seemed to be the only good thing in sight at the moment and he hated him, which was saying something about how awful Tobias felt. A smile slowly crept onto his lips from the thought of Linton, but he wiped it away and walked out of the bathroom to lay back in bed. 

Too many thoughts were rushing around his head and most of them were about Linton. He was infiltrating Tobias's mind and there was nothing he could do about it. Of course he didn't mind. He was just a bit confused. 

With the empty beer bottle in his hand and a dead cigarette on his pillowcase, Tobias fell asleep despite how cold and lonely it felt in his room; his mind subconsciously replaying memories of the good days with Linton as he slept.


	4. 4. High Enough

## 4\. High Enough

"Are you sure that it's a good idea to talk to him?"

"No, but he said that it's important."

"And you trust him?"

"Not really, but I'll see what he wants."

Simon couldn't tell Linton what to do, but he was worried. Linton was his best friend and he didn't want Tobias to make him feel like shit again. After Linton was practically kicked out, Simon was the one to pick up his broken pieces. He helped put Linton back together all while staying in the bed and juggling everything that came with it. The two were nearly inseparable in terms of their friendship and with that came a protective front. They stopped each other from doing things that could turn out bad and it worked most of the time. 

But now it seemed like Linton was going to do something that should've been left alone and Simon was upset. 

"He's playing with your emotions," Simon told him as Linton grabbed his coat, "He's gonna hurt you again!"

"Not if I deck him and show him who the fuck he's messing with." Linton zipped up his coat and slipped his shoes on. He appreciated Simon, but this had to be done. Even though he figured that at some point that evening, he'd deck Tobias, he had to see what he wanted. After all, he wasn't going to stoop to Tobias's level. "If he gets manipulative, I'll leave."

"He's always manipulative!"

"Oh, I know. Which is why I'll leave." Opening the door, Linton grabbed his keys from the small table by the door and spun them around on his finger. A part of him was saying that Simon was right, but he had to ignore it. This needed to be done. With a sharp sigh, he adjusted the beanie on his head and rubbed his neck afterwards, his eyes landing on Simon. "Look... I'll be careful–"

"I know–"

"If he tries anything, I'll just leave. Okay? I promise." A small smile twitched at Linton's lips as he stilled the keys in his palm. "You know I don't break promises."

Simon couldn't help but smile. Goddamn Linton for being an honest friend. He could never stay mad at him. If anything, he was just worried about Tobias making him feel like shit, seeing as that's what the man was best at. Both of them knew that all too well. 

"I believe you," Simon told him. Reluctantly, he held his hand out and waved towards Linton's car, sighing before he spoke, "Well, go on, then. Do what you have to do."

"I'll be home later, okay?"

"Whatever you say."

"I mean it!"

"Mhm. Be careful, please."

"I will. Bye, Simon."

"Bye, Linton."

—

Well, if this wasn't awkward, then what was?

Tobias was sitting on the couch on the opposite side of the room from where Linton was sitting in the recliner. Neither of them had said anything. Instead, they were quietly having fika, minus the talking that was usually involved with it. They had burned through the small talk of normal questions such as how the other was doing and how cold it was outside, and now they were sitting quietly and avoiding one another's gaze as often as possible. 

Linton didn't know what to say. He wasn't the one who organized this little get together. Maybe Tobias just didn't want to be alone and wanted someone over. Or maybe Tobias couldn't bring himself to say anything about the situation. Both were very probable, but Linton wasn't going to be the one to break the silence. 

Honestly, Tobias was shaking in his place and he was hoping that Linton couldn't tell. He was anxious. How was he supposed to tell Linton that he wanted to try again? That he wanted to fix the tension between them and see where it'd end up? How was he going to admit that he had done so many things wrong? Tobias had never done that and it was scary. He hated it and he hadn't even done it yet. His anxiety was about to shoot through the door if he didn't have a cigarette soon, but he couldn't just up and leave. There was no telling how Linton would take that. 

The tension in the room was killing both of them. Back when they were younger, they were able to sit in silence comfortably and enjoy themselves. Now, it was a nightmare. They couldn't even look at each other. 

Tobias wanted that to change, though. He wanted his gaze to linger on Linton like it used to and he wanted to share quiet, comfortable moments with him. He didn't want there to be the feeling of unease between them. He never thought that that would surface, but then again, he never predicted anything that had happened recently. It seems like he also needed to start thinking ahead when it came to things. 

"I'm sorry," Tobias said suddenly. Linton's eyebrows shot up as he brought his line of vision over to focus on Tobias rather than the stained carpet he was looking at. He didn't say anything in response. He wanted to hear what else Tobias had to say. Thankfully, that happened without provocation. "I've been thinking recently and... I've done some reflecting on who I am as a person and the decisions I've made, and... I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Linton. I had no right to treat you the way I did. I never should've stepped on you or– Or wronged you in any way because you didn't deserve it. You did so much for me and I... I just ruined it. I was stuck in my head– and have been for years– and I hurt you. I hurt you terribly and I didn't even notice it because of how fucking awful I am. I'm sorry, Linton. I'm so sorry."

The hard expression on Linton's face immediately softened from Tobias's words. He was expecting some bullshit apology, but instead he got actual substance behind it. He was shocked more than anything else. It was very uncommon for Tobias to admit that he had done something wrong and here he had given Linton an explanation as to what had happened. 

Linton couldn't say anything because he was too surprised to generate a response. This was a new step for the both of them. While it shocked one, it was destroying the other. 

"Back when we were kids and in love, everything was so easy... We just went about life and didn't care because we had each other. There was nothing to worry about. I told you that I loved you and that I always would, and you said it back. You meant it and so did I. I always did." Tobias paused for a moment to collect himself. He didn't expect to get emotional so fast, but he couldn't help it. Admitting how you feel is hard. "I fucked up so much in my life after I left you and now I realize it's because you were the only thing keeping me grounded. You kept me sane and leveled out, and you showed me how to act and you kept me in line... Then I lost you and I went off the rails, and now I'm in this shitstorm that I've caused and it sucks. It fucking sucks. I've lost everyone and I feel like a dick because I know, I know that it's all my fault and I didn't even think of the consequences of my actions, so here I am, basking in my fucking loneliness and depression, and realizing that I'm fucking stupid and that I never should have left you because you were what was best for me... And fuck, you're _still_ what's best for me and you hate me, so what the fuck am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?"

Linton suddenly took back how shocked he was before, because now? He was truly rocked to the core. 

With wide eyes, he stared at Tobias– who had tears in his eyes– and blinked cluelessly. What was he supposed to say to all of that? Was Tobias expecting an apology? Was he wanting Linton to run into his arms again and immediately take him back? What did Tobias want? What was his angle with this?

Linton tried to block out the thoughts of being with Tobias whenever he could. All they did was make him sad and feel like a failure. For years, he had blamed himself for how Tobias acted even though he knew that he wasn't the cause of it. And now Tobias was telling Linton that he was the one who kept him from being stupid when they were together? Now he was finally admitting that he was a jackass and that what he had done was wrong? 

He shouldn't have been as pissed as he was, but there he sat. Fuming on the chair that was across the room from the couch. 

If he would've been next to Tobias, he would've punched him. 

"What do you want me to say to that?" Linton asked bluntly, "What? Do you want me to feel sorry for you? Do you want me to hug you and tell you that it's okay? Because it's not. It's not okay and you know that now, but it's too fucking late."

"I'm sorry," Tobias said. Linton wished that his tone wasn't as genuine as it was. He tried to erase the sound from his brain as soon as it happened, but Tobias went on before he could. "I miss you. I miss what we had. I was so in love with you that I would've given you the world, and I did, I gave you as much as I could and you loved it. You loved me... I know I can't make up for all of the years that I fucked up and I know I can't make you apologize, but Linton... I need you... Okay? I need you more than anything and it sucks. It sucks because I know how badly I fucked up, but you're the only good thing in my life right now and fuck, you hate me, so that shows how fucking awful things are. For me to praise someone who hates me and to call them what I need in my life shows that my life is god awful at the moment, but god damn it, Linton, I need you. I want to make things right. I have to. You're my only hope."

Too many emotions and feelings were radiating throughout Linton for him to respond right away. While he was pissed, he was also thinking about his past with Tobias. No matter how hard he tried to forget every memory, he couldn't. He never could. He'd have dreams about Tobias and he'd have random thoughts about him throughout the day, and he hated them because he hated Tobias. Tobias had hurt him more than anyone else in the world ever had and yet he still thought about him constantly. 

When he felt like being honest with himself, Linton realized that nobody ever made him feel the same way that Tobias had. He had been with other people since their breakup and he was seeking for the same amount of security and love and thrill that he experienced with Tobias. So far, no one had been able to provide that for him and it made him miserable. He missed it. He wasn't sure if it was Tobias he was missing, though. Maybe he just missed how he felt. 

Tobias's words were having an emotional effect on him and he hated it. He despised how this was making him feel. He knew that Tobias was stable when they were together and that he had completely fucked himself over when they weren't. Maybe Tobias was right. Maybe he was the answer to some of his problems. 

But that didn't settle well because Linton wasn't going to let it. It hurt him to stand up from the chair and walk to the door, but he did it anyway. 

He needed to leave. He couldn't do this. 

"Linton, wait, please wait," Tobias begged as he dodged over to the door. He grabbed Linton's shoulder and turned him so they were facing each other, tears pooling in his eyes almost uncontrollably. He couldn't stand to see Linton leave. Not again. It would destroy him even more. "Please, I'm sorry, I'll make it better. Please, I promise."

"Let me go," Linton said briskly, though he wasn't exactly feeling that bold. He felt himself crumbling from the thought of what Tobias said and he hated it. He needed to be alone. "Just leave me alone, okay? Please."

"I need you, please don't go–"

"You should've thought about that before now," Linton whispered. He looked over Tobias' face and swallowed thickly, only to break the gaze by moving to open the door. "I'm done."

"No, no, please, Linton, I'm sorry, I'll make it better!"

Linton thought he was going to go crazy so before he could hear another one of Tobias' pleas, he walked out and shut the door behind him. He had never run to his car so quickly in his life. Too many memories and thoughts and concepts were flooding his mind, and he hated all of them. 

He felt lonely, too. He felt like he was going to be alone for the rest of his life because the only person he really ever connected with had fucked him over. That was soul-crushing. Sometimes, Linton couldn't even stand the thought of love. He thought that he was going to be used and walked on like how it was with Tobias, and he didn't want to feel that way again. He couldn't. 

But then again, he also couldn't feel completely and utterly in love like he had felt with Tobias. Loving him felt natural and like it was right, but he had been trying to ignore that for years now. Tobias couldn't be the one. There was no way in Hell that someone who had hurt him someone could end up being the one he needed for the rest of his life. 

Linton was frustrated. Frustrated didn't even cover it. He wanted to back himself over with his own car and die in front of Tobias's house so Tobias saw how stressed he made him. He couldn't do that, though. Simon would be mad. 

Instead, Linton sat in his car and turned the radio on loudly so he could drown out his thoughts. Tobias stood in the doorway, which was open again, waiting to see what Linton would do. He didn't want him to drive away, but he wasn't sure whether or not he should run up to his car. He didn't want to be run over. 

"Fuck!" Linton yelled as he honked his horn. The radio was playing with his emotions and he knew it. He reached out to push the button to shut it off, only for it to break off due to how hard he had hit it. That only caused Linton to yell again and honk the horn with each word, letting it sound for a few seconds with the last word. "Are you fucking serious?!"

Tobias flinched in the doorway as he watched Linton. He was concerned, but it was obvious that he was experiencing some rage. It would be better to wait. 

_...I don't want to hear about it anymore..._

"Shut up!" Linton yelled at the radio, "Just shut up! I don't want to hear _you_ anymore, you fuck! Why the fuck do you always play the worst fucking songs?! Why?!"

Tobias could head the song from where he was and he nearly cringed. He hated that song at the moment because of how accurate it was. For some reason, the same thing had been happening to him as well lately. With how superstitious he was, he figured that it had something to do with Linton. 

Obviously, he was right. 

_...Yesterday's just a memory. Can we close the door? I just made one mistake..._

"Fuck. Fuck," Linton said to himself as he sat in the car. He knew that these damn lyrics were right. He knew that there was something there hidden deep beneath the surface. He knew that they could rekindle something and he hated it. He hated Tobias. He hated everything about him. "God _damn it_!"

Thoughts of the past were suffocating him. They used to sit in the car and make out while songs like this played on the radio. They would sing and dance with each other to whatever came on when they were together. They would always do things when it came to music. More often than not, Linton found himself thinking about Tobias when he listened to certain songs back then and even now. Especially now. He hated that, too. 

He couldn't do much about how he felt. He could either suffer alone or try to fix things with Tobias. As much as he didn't want to admit it, fixing things seemed to be the less painful option. 

If he was wrong, then he'd back himself over with his car. 

_...I don't want to live without you anymore. Can't you see I'm in misery?.._

Glancing at Tobias out the window, Linton felt something in him break. He was caving in. He knew that Tobias wasn't manipulating him, but maybe later on he'd convince himself that he was. 

Getting out of the car, Linton slammed the door shut behind him and walked up to Tobias again. He was still standing in the doorway. At first, Tobias backed up, but Linton grabbed his shoulder and stopped himself before he could move any further. 

"You know what? Fine. If you want to try and fix things with us, then let's fucking try," Linton spat out, "But if you fuck up... I swear to god."

_...Can you take me high enough to fly me over yesterday?.._

Linton didn't finish his threat, but it was enough for Tobias. He nodded quickly and swallowed the lump in his throat, his eyes locking on the other's as his heart jumped slightly. "O– Okay. Okay, let's try."

Sighing sharply, Linton let go of Tobias and backed away from him, walking backwards slowly down the sidewalk as he spoke to him, "You're taking me out on a date. Got it? I want a date."

"Anything, anything... What do you want to do?"

"Surprise me." Linton opened the door to his car again and winced from how loud the music was, shooting Tobias one last glare before he got in. "See you soon."

Tobias just swallowed again and nodded. Within seconds, Linton sped off down the road and out of his sight. 

Relief washed over him, but so did a sensation of intimidation. This was his last chance. He couldn't fuck up again. He couldn't lose Linton a third time.


	5. 5. Why Can’t This Be Love?

## 5\. Why Can’t This Be Love?

Tobias had followed through with Linton's request and planned a date for the two of them. He wasn't very good with things like that, but it was worth a shot. He didn't want to let Linton down and he didn't want to lose him, so he took a couple days to figure out what would be best for the two of them. Though Tobias had money, he didn't want to make it seem like he was trying to buy Linton's trust back. He just wanted to show him that he was trying with who he was and not with what he had. 

Linton didn't know what to expect. Tobias was unpredictable and he didn't know what this date would consist of. He didn't get excited about it because he was used to being let down by Tobias, so he kept himself at bay until further notice. 

Around five in the evening, Tobias had picked Linton up and was dressed casually. For Tobias, that meant skinny jeans and a leather jacket that was covered in pins. He looked completely different in comparison to Linton, who was wearing a v-neck with a cardigan over it, and a scarf as always. Tobias wanted to make fun of him for wearing a scarf like he used to, but he didn't want to press his luck. Instead, he didn't say anything then drove them to the restaurant that they'd be eating at. 

Once they got to the restaurant, they sat across from each other at a table near the front window. Both of them had been there before, but never together. Whenever they went out when they were younger, they went out for fika and drinks at bars. They never were the type to sit down and have dinner. 

That was changing now. Neither of them knew how it'd turn out, but it was worth a shot. 

"You look nice," Tobias told Linton to break the silence that was looming over them. He smiled softly and fooled with a bracelet between his fingers, flipping it around and whatnot like he always did. "I like it when you wear beanies."

Linton raised his eyebrows and nodded slowly. He hadn't gotten that compliment a lot, but he appreciated it. "Thank you," he said quietly. Running his gaze over Tobias' figure, he offered him a faint– very faint– smile. "You look nice, too."

Tobias didn't care if Linton saw him smile, which is why he flashed him a genuine one. Linton hated that his smile was nearly contagious. To hide the fact that he almost broke, he grabbed his refreshment and took a drink from it. 

"You like the sparkling wine? I think it's great," Tobias said as Linton pulled the glass away from his lips. 

Nodding again, Linton took another small sip before setting it back down. "I do, actually. I didn't think I would."

"Well, you've always been one to drink."

"I still am."

The look of longing that spread across Tobias's face nearly made Linton feel guilty. He looked away quickly and cleared his throat, immediately trying to look for something to distract himself. 

"What do you think they're eating?" He asked just to change the subject. When Tobias turned his head to see who Linton was referring to, the former bassist pointed at a couple across the small room. "Them. What is that?"

"Hm... Looks like it could be veal?" He responded questionably, "I don't know, I don't eat veal."

"Oh yeah, you don't eat meat."

"No, I'm a vegetarian."

"I remembered that."

"You did."

Tobias smiled at Linton again and that time, he couldn't help but smile back. There were some things that he'd never forget and apparently, that was one of them. That piece of information was practically useless, but it had just come in handy for some reason. 

The date wasn't going by too bad. Not as bad as Linton had expected, anyway. He thought it would be awkward the entire time, but it wasn't. With each little comment or question, the ice between them was melting. He wasn't sure if it'd go away completely, but he knew that a bit of progress was being made. 

He missed being out with someone like this. He couldn't remember the last time he had been out on a date and he didn't want to. Most of the time, he was miserable when he tried to be with someone else, but with Tobias he wasn't feeling like that. A part of him wanted to just so he could block him out and never see him again because of what he had done in the past, but another part felt relieved. All in all, feeling relieved was easier to do than to force something away and Linton was finding that out rather reluctantly. 

"It's a beautiful night," Tobias commented randomly as they picked at their food about twenty minutes later. His eyes scanned the scenery outside before they darted over to Linton, giving him a small half smile before he looked back out the window. "Would you like to take a walk after this?"

Linton swallowed what was in his mouth then looked outside as well. Stockholm was a beautiful city and everyone knew that. Living there was even better. He never got tired of it and he discovered something new almost every single day. It was intriguing and just what Linton needed in his life. 

"We can walk to this pub down the street, if you didn't have any other plans?" Linton suggested as he looked at Tobias.

"I have plans, but that sounds better," Tobias said with a chuckle."

"Oh." The ex-ghoul straightened up with a shake of his head. "No, no. We can do what you planned."

"But if the pub will make you happy..." He hesitated just to gage the look on Linton's face. The younger male gave a soft smile before he looked down, giving Tobias his answer. "Pub it is. I'm sure we'll have fun."

The smile that twitched at Linton's lips almost gave way, but he managed to push it back before that could happen. He was still trying to remain neutral about all of this. He was mad with Tobias still, but... It was hard not to smile and laugh. He had that effect on him. 

After they both finished their meals, Tobias paid and stood up to extend his arm towards the door; and of course, he pushed in Linton's chair for him. Following that, he even opened the door for Linton then walked out behind him. Tobias was being polite and Linton hated that it impressed him. It was making him smile and think that Tobias was actually trying. 

Well, he was. He knew that. 

"You were right," Linton said, finishing before Tobias could take that the wrong way, "It is a beautiful night."

Glancing around them, the singer nodded then brought his attention back to Linton. "I know. Sometimes I wish I could sleep outside every night."

Linton hadn't heard that one before. He gave Tobias a curious look as a smile spread across his lips, a small chuckle coming out with his words. "Why's that?"

"Well," Tobias said, a smile forming on his lips as well, "I don't know. I enjoy how the night air feels sometimes. It's calming."

Linton couldn't say he was wrong because he wasn't. He enjoyed how the air felt and it was nice to take a walk in it. Suddenly, he didn't care that he was with Tobias of all people. It was peaceful to be around him, for once. That was a change. 

"Yeah..." Linton mumbled as his eyes danced across the sky, "It's beautiful." He dropped his head a little as an idea formed in his mind. He thought it sounded cheesy, but it could've been worth mentioning. "Maybe... Maybe we can go see the northern lights sometime. Together, I mean. They're better than just any old stars."

Tobias' heart jumped from Linton's suggestion. All evening, he was unsure of how the other felt about the date so naturally, he assumed that he wasn't enjoying himself. Now he was thinking over it again. Maybe Linton was starting to come around. 

That or he felt bad for Tobias. 

Maybe both. But Tobias didn't want to think about that possibility. 

"We can do that sometime," Tobias told him. Linton's face lit up and he almost beamed from the sight of it alone. He had missed seeing that look on his ex-lover's face. There had been mornings when Tobias would wake up and that was the first thing that he had seen. Now there it was again, and fuck, his heart was stopping in his chest. Clearing his throat, he shook his head and tried to ignore how it made him feel. "I'll see what strings I can pull."

Linton didn't want to seem too excited, but he couldn't disguise how he felt. The northern lights were his favorite. He had only ever seen them with Martin and Simon, and his own father, but never with Tobias. The one time that Tobias was with them when they were gazing at the lights, Tobias was in the bus focusing on something– Probably himself. They didn't expect him to come out, though. He never enjoyed doing things with them after a couple years had passed. 

Pulling the door to the pub open, Linton walked in and motioned for Tobias to follow him. Immediately, a few people noticed Tobias, but didn't say much. Without even having to look at him, Linton could tell that he was uncomfortable. 

He still hadn't forgiven Tobias for the things he had done, but he didn't want him to feel like that. He stopped where he was and let the other step up beside him, then he rested his hand on his back and walked with him. Tobias's eyebrows shot up from Linton's gesture and he looked over at him to see what he was doing. Linton wasn't looking at him, though. He was too busy weaving them in between people. 

Lately, Tobias despised going out in public. He was becoming a well-known man in Stockholm, but not because he was a great musician– Because he was known as the guy who fucked over his band mates and told them they weren't worth shit and took their money because of it. The stares he got were disapproving, but nobody ever said anything to him. People in Sweden kept their opinions to themselves unless they were talking to someone they were close with.

"Are you okay?" Linton asked once him and Tobias were out of the crowd. 

Tobias nodded shakily and exhaled, glancing over his shoulder for a quick moment before looking back at Linton. "Yeah... Yeah, I think so."

"Do people always stare at you like that?"

"I mean... recently, yes."

Linton scoffed and rolled his eyes. He didn't know why he was becoming concerned and protective, but that's what was happening. He hated it, but he couldn't help it. "That's ridiculous. People need to do what they do best here, which is mind their own business."

Tobias didn't say anything. He was in shock that Linton was sticking up for him. Just days ago, Linton would've been one of the people glaring at him like that, but now he was defending him and making sure that he felt okay. It made him smile faintly and once Linton saw it, he reflected one of his own. 

_'Fuck him for having a nice smile.'_

Moments later, Linton's eyes landed on something that made him smirk. Tobias was confused because he didn't. Once he followed the other's gaze over to what had his attention, he noticed what he was looking at and raised his eyebrows. 

Guitar Hero. 

"Wanna play?" Tobias asked before Linton could stare much longer. 

"Hell fucking yeah," Linton chuckled out, "Come on!"

For a moment, Tobias got a glimpse of the same childlike excitement that he saw burst out of Linton frequently when they were younger. Now he was the one staring, but it wasn't the video game that got his attention. It was Linton. 

He followed Linton over to the game and grabbed one of the guitars while the other got the game situated. Tobias had never been here, but it seemed like that was going to change. Who was he to pass up a game like Guitar Hero? He didn't know how to play guitar and bass for nothing. Besides, singing got boring after awhile. He needed a break from it and wanted to do something like this anyway. 

"What song do you want?" Linton asked Tobias as he peaked over his shoulder to look at him. 

Taking a few moments to glance across the screen at the songs that were available, he shrugged with a shake of his head. "I don't care. All of them are good."

Linton shrugged and chose one before adjusting the controller into the other guitar. He was good at this game, but he didn't want to make Tobias feel like shit by slamming him into the dirt. Well... he deserved it. But Linton didn't want it to be too competitive. He just wanted to have fun.

"What level?" Linton asked, "Beginner, easy, medium, hard, or expert?"

Tobias scoffed. "Hard. I'm not weak."

Then Linton scoffed. "Alright, Forge. You're asking for it."

Neither of them knew what they were getting themselves into. Both of them had an extensive past with playing guitar both in real life and in this video game. Now Linton wasn't so sure that he wanted to go easy on Tobias. Maybe he'd wait and see how Tobias would play before busting out his skills. He'd be nice for as long as possible. 

He could crush Tobias at this game and still make it fun for the both of them, right?

He was going to try. 

The song started and Tobias's ears perked up. Of course Linton chose this song. In all actuality, Linton didn't even really look when he chose the song. He just didn't want to scroll through all of them and waste time, so he clicked on the one that the cursor was hovering over without bothering to actually process what song he had chose. 

Usually, neither one of them minded Van Halen, but this song...

Tobias glanced over at Linton, but he was already focusing on the tabs that were showing up on the screen. Thankfully, he looked away just in time to begin hitting the right notes. 

_...Oh, here it comes– That funny feeling again winding me up inside every time we touch..._

The singer ended up blushing and stumbling over a few notes, earning a scoff from Linton. Growling at him playfully, he rammed the neck of his guitar into the neck of Linton's, causing him to mess up as well. 

"Hey!" Linton snapped at him with a laugh, "You can't do that!"

"I just did!"

Shaking his head playfully, Linton smirked and focused on the notes again. He was going to win whether Tobias liked it or not. Now that he showed that he was going to be playing dirty, he was going to be playing the same way. Linton wasn't one to back down from a challenge, especially one like this. 

_...It's got what it takes, so tell me, why can't this be love?.._

Tobias blushed from that specific line, but when he looked over at the other, he saw that he was too into the game to notice what was being said in the lyrics. Maybe Tobias was too caught up in Linton or maybe he just really felt a connection to Van Halen. Whatever it was, it was continuously making him miss a few notes every so often, thus giving Linton a higher accuracy rating. 

After the chorus, Linton calmed down a little and turned down his ego. That's when the lyrics hit him. That's also when he realized that he was a fool for choosing this song. 

There was a whole list of songs to choose from yet he had chosen this one? What the fuck?

_...I tell myself, 'hey, only fools rush in and only time will tell'..._

Now he was blushing because of the lyrics. Beside him, Tobias was doing the same thing. Linton wanted to kick his own ass or at least throw himself down a flight of stairs for causing an awkward tension to build up between them, but he couldn't help it now. He was to blame for this and he knew it.

Many times before now, Linton had been called an airhead. Simon was the one to say it to him, of all people, and at the time he didn't believe him. Now that was changing. Maybe he was an airhead and Simon was actually smart and sensed it before Linton could. 

This was a mind fuck and Linton didn't know what to do. 

Tobias felt himself longing for Linton again as the lyrics continued to chant those five words at him. 'Why can't this be love?' He wanted to choke himself and breakdown all over again just to have Linton see how sorry he was, but he knew that it was no use. Having a breakdown wasn't the way to win Linton back. The man had expectations and Tobias needed to live up to them. He could do that without having a breakdown to get there. 

_...Baby, why can't this be love?.._

Swallowing thickly, the older male looked over at the other at the same time that he looked over at him. Their eyes met instantly and they broke the exact same way. 

_...Got to know why can't this be love..._

Both of them seemed to hesitate again before their eyes made contact yet again. The tension between them could probably be felt throughout the entire pub, but they couldn't resolve it at the moment. They were in the middle of playing Guitar Hero. 

_...I wanna know why this can't be love..._

Before anything else could happen between them, the song ended. Their eye contact broke and they stood in silence for a moment. Needless to say, Linton ruined the progress they had made by making this weird and odd. He should've known that he'd be the one to do that. After all, that wasn't uncommon for him to do. 

Clearing his throat, Tobias looked over at Linton and offered him a smile. "You did good... You beat me."

For a split second, he averted his eyes to the screen and nodded. He won. Usually he would've been happy about that, but now he was thinking about Tobias too much. He was clouding up his mind. 

"I guess so." Linton looked down at the guitar that was still strapped on him and he rubbed the side of his neck. He didn't know what to do now. There wasn't anything he could do, actually. Maybe it was better to end tonight like this rather than try and fix it. So that's what he suggested. "I'm... I'm pretty tired. I think I'm gonna head home."

Tobias didn't know why, but he blamed himself for this. He knew he wasn't the cause, but with everything going on lately, he couldn't help it. It was just natural at this point. 

"No, that's fine, don't worry. I– I'm tired, too." That was a lie. He wasn't tired at all. "Did you have fun?"

"I did," Linton responded a bit too quickly. His cheeks went red as Tobias cracked a smile and he rubbed his neck again, dropping his hand to the guitar seconds afterwards. "It was fun. You impressed me."

"Oh?"

"You did. It was really fun," Linton admitted, "So... thank you for this."

Now Tobias was blushing. The date was simple, but he was happy that Linton was sufficed with it. It showed that he was doing something right. 

"Don't mention it," Tobias brushed it off, "Wanna get going?"

Nodding, the bassist took the guitar off his body as the other did the same. They walked out of the pub together and kept to themselves mostly as Tobias drove Linton home, bidding one another goodnight before Linton left Tobias's car. 

Tobias was fucked. He knew he was. His feelings for Linton were coming back stronger than ever and he couldn't ignore them. Not at this point. 

After collecting himself, Tobias pulled out of Linton's driveway and drove home, thinking about him the rest of the night.


	6. 6. When I Look Into Your Eyes

## 6\. When I Look Into Your Eyes

Shortly after their date, Tobias invited Linton out again. However, this wasn't exactly a date. It was a wedding and Tobias didn't want to show up alone, so he invited Linton to go as his date. Linton agreed even though he didn't know the people getting married and followed Tobias's instructions about what he should wear. Apparently, he didn't want Linton showing up and looking like a Q-tip. He understood why, but at the same time he thought it would add character to the occasion. 

Linton complied, though. In fact, he went above and beyond with it. So much so that Tobias was shocked when he saw Linton walk into the church where the wedding was being held. 

Tobias's mouth fell open when he saw Linton and he nearly choked on his own spit. He wasn't expecting him to go all out like this, but he did. He did and Tobias was loving it. 

For the first time in years, Linton got a haircut that suited him. The top was short, but longer than his shaved sides. No more bangs. No more disgustingly uneven sweep to the side. Just a good haircut that made Linton look like a walking God. 

Alright, so maybe Tobias was more than just shocked. Maybe he was a little turned on by it too, but they were in a church at a wedding. Tobias couldn't make a scene here on one of his friend's big day. 

Maybe later on. 

"Fuck," Tobias stammered out when Linton came up to him. He looked over his hair now that he had a better look at it and smiled breathlessly, his eyes unable to focus on just one part of him and his heart racing in his chest. It's like he was in puppy love with him and his new haircut. "Fuck, you look so good."

Linton chuckled as his cheeks turned pink and he held his head down. He wasn't expecting a reaction like that. Mostly, he was expecting Tobias to roast him for getting rid of his old haircut, but instead he was met with overwhelming approval. Said approval made his heart jump and a smile form on his lips. 

"Thanks," he said sheepishly, "I needed a change."

"I– It's a good change! Very good change– Jesus, look at you," Tobias rambled on. 

"Oh god, Tobias, stop–"

"I knew you'd look good with a haircut like this, didn't I tell you that once? I swear I told you that you'd look good with shaved sides–"

"Tobias, please–"

"Fuck, it's good. It's really good." Sighing sharply, he flashed Linton a grin then linked their arms together. "Anyway, let's go."

Linton was blushing dark red as Tobias walked him to the pew that he had been sitting at whilst waiting for him to arrive. Now his heart was bound to leap out of his chest during the ceremony, but he couldn't help it. Tobias was feeding him so many compliments and he wasn't used to it– Especially since they were about his hair. He didn't know that Tobias could get flustered like that anymore, but it made him happy to know that he could. 

As they sat down, Linton kept himself rather close to Tobias. He wasn't sure why, but he did. Maybe he liked having company for once. He didn't want to admit that he was feeling a little clingy now that Tobias had showered him with so many things, but he was. He didn't want to be away from him now that he was beginning to show that he wasn't in love with only himself. 

Wait. Not that he was in love with Linton again. Linton didn't think that... right? No, he didn't. He didn't know what he was thinking. 

Thankfully, before Linton could drive him to insanity, the service began. He wasn't a fan of weddings, but he was looking past that just to be with Tobias. He liked their last date, so he doubted that this one would be awful. Tobias would attempt to make it good for the both of them despite Linton not knowing anyone there. 

If most people went to a wedding with their ex as a date, it would be awkward, but it wasn't awkward with them. Despite the fact that they had talked about marriage before, neither of them were focused on that at the moment. Tobias was paying attention while Linton was glowing from how happy he still was. Besides, this atmosphere wasn't equipped for instability.

Subconsciously, Tobias rested his hand on Linton's thigh. That's when Linton snapped out of his thoughts. He looked down at his hand then glanced at Tobias who was facing the front still. Either he hadn't noticed that he had set his hand there or he was attempting to come off as nonchalant. After a minute or two, Linton figured that he wasn't aware of his actions and shrugged it off... but not without resting his hand over Tobias's and moving just a little closer to him. 

Tobias noticed what he did from Linton's actions. He was embarrassed that he had done something like that without even thinking about it, but the damage had been done. Besides, it's not like he had never touched Linton there before. Hell, he could vividly remember marking up that area with hickeys years ago. Resting his hand there wasn't doing either of them any harm.

Linton found himself leaning against Tobias halfway through the service while he played with his fingers. It had been years since he was like this with somebody. He couldn't help it. He was beginning to feel comfortable around Tobias. They weren't rushing or forcing anything. They were taking their time and growing used to one another again. They were being mature adults now. 

Of course Tobias didn't mind that Linton was practically all over him, but at the same time he was beginning to think about the past again. They had said that they'd get married one day. Tobias had thought about it too much back then and it never happened. He had never even asked Linton to marry him. They just assumed that it'd happen someday without it being a big deal. 

For them, that someday hadn't happened yet and Tobias wasn't sure if it ever would.

–

_"Would you marry me one day?" Tobias asked he was laying between Linton's legs in the backseat of the van that Linton's father had bought._

_Linton took a drag from his cigarette then held it away from his lips to respond. "Is twenty-one too young to get married?"_

_"I wouldn't say so," Tobias told him, "but I said one day. Not right now. Do you think you'd marry me one day?"_

_"You know I would," Linton reminded him, "I've said it before and I'll say it again."_

_Tobias smiled and rested his head on Linton's stomach. He didn't want to let him go. They were young and stupid, but they were in love and they had one another. That was enough for them. They'd work the rest out along the way. Both of them knew that they'd be able to handle it._

_"I can't see myself marrying anyone else, honestly," Tobias spoke up after a moment of silence. Linton's fingers were in his long hair and brushing through it, gently working out the tangles in it so it didn't bother him. "I only want to marry you."_

_"Me too," Linton mumbled, "I love you."_

_"I love you more."_

_"That's a damn lie."_

_"But it isn't." Propping himself up, Tobias leaned up and pressed his lips to Linton's a few times. Each kiss was soft but passionate. All of their kisses were like that. They had been dating for three years at that time, but the passion and heat hadn't faded. After the last kiss, Tobias rested his forehead against Linton's and whispered to him, "I love you more than anything."_

_"I know you do." Wrapping his arms around Tobias, he kissed him again before pulling away for good. "I always will."_

_"Promise?"_

_"Promise."_

–

After the painfully long ceremony, Tobias's friends were married. The kiss was long and drawn out, and their exit from the building was almost as extra as Tobias was onstage. Even Linton made a comment about it. Despite that, it was now time for the afterparty and both of them were a bit too excited for it. 

"It's warm in here," Linton said as he shrugged his jacket off. He was left in his dress pants and a white button up shirt, though he rolled up the sleeves afterwards. Again, Tobias couldn't help but stare. Linton was attractive. More attractive than he wanted him to be. Nobody could blame him for staring, especially since other people began checking Linton out as well. 

Upon seeing that, Tobias stepped up beside him to shield him from others after taking off his jacket and nodded to the bar. "It is. Want something to drink, though? I heard it's free."

"Free alcohol?" Linton practically perked up from that. He didn't want to get drunk, but he didn't want to be completely sober for the rest of the night either. He wanted to have a little fun. "I'm down."

Tobias smirked and lead him over to the bar. Like they did back when they were younger, they ordered six shots of Jägermeister and each of them took three. Though they were high in alcohol content, both of them were able to down them with ease and keep them down fairly well. Their tolerance had built up over the years and now it seemed impossible for them to get drunk. Tobias nearly had to give himself alcohol poisoning just to get smashed nowadays. Linton hit that point a bit easier, but it wasn't as accessible as it used to be. Neither of them drank too much anymore, but tonight was an exception. 

As they drank, Linton stayed near Tobias and rarely ever looked at anyone else. He didn't want to. He'd attempt to be social if he were with another friend of his, but Tobias had his full attention, although all he was doing was sipping on a beer that he had gotten himself. 

"There's kids here," Linton pointed out. He nodded towards the dance floor where a few children were and he chuckled, bringing his eyes back to Tobias. "Two teens over there, too."

"Huh." Tobias glanced over at the two teenagers that were pathetically flirting with one another and scoffed. It reminded him of their days in school where he'd hit on Linton and Linton wouldn't really catch on. He didn't mean to, but he said that aloud, too. "Reminds me of us."

Linton couldn't disagree. A week ago, he would've been upset by Tobias saying something like that, but he wasn't now. He was warming up to him again. "I was thinking the same thing. I'm the girl in that situation."

"I'm the guy. Look at him. He's hitting on her and she's getting flustered."

"I was definitely the girl."

"You still are," Tobias chuckled out, "Today when I complimented you, you got shy."

"Well!" Linton protested, "I didn't think you'd react like that! Geez, don't attack me."

"I'm not attacking you. That's the last thing I'd do." Their eyes met again and Tobias smiled at him, nudging his elbow with a small laugh falling from his lips. "But I did mean when I said. You look very nice. You're attractive, Linton."

There was something about Tobias saying that that made Linton want to beam like the sun. With others, he just took compliments with a smile and moved on, but with Tobias, it was different. He was still feeling butterflies in his stomach from what he said. 

"Thank you," Linton said softly. He reached out and grabbed Tobias's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before letting go. "You're very kind."

Before Linton's hand could retract completely to his side, Tobias grabbed it and pulled it upwards, pressing a kiss to his knuckles just to be cliché. "I try."

Again, Linton was blushing. He laughed softly and grabbed Tobias's hand again, this time lacing their fingers together so he wouldn't let go. They rested their hands on the table as Linton grabbed Tobias's beer and took a drink, handing it to him afterwards. 

"Enjoying yourself?" Tobias asked as he began closing the space between them. 

Linton curiously ran his eyes up and down Tobias's figure, half-expecting him to suggest that they do something to make it better, but shoving the thought away to make sure he wasn't getting ahead of himself. "I am. And you?"

"Best night I've had in awhile," Tobias murmured with a smile. Glancing at the watch on his wrist, he chuckled and turned to Linton again, their faces now inches apart. "You know... kids leave the building at nine."

The younger man swallowed lightly. "What... what time is it now?"

"Half past eight."

"Oh... Oh, that's not bad."

"Not bad at all."

Linton shuddered softly and bit his lower lip. He looked down at Tobias's lips and nearly began leaning in, but Tobias pulled away before he could. Tobias was being a tease like he had been in the past. 

But this was going too fast, wasn't it? Linton couldn't be feeling like this. He couldn't. 

But, fuck, he _was_.

Nine couldn't come soon enough, but with a few more drinks from the beer that Tobias had gotten, he was ready to hit the dance floor. Linton couldn't dance at all, but he knew that Tobias could. That's why he decided to stand back and watch him. 

Throughout the time that they had known one another, Tobias never ceased to amaze Linton. Whether it was with something to do with the band or himself or in general, he was always taking Linton by surprise. He was unpredictable and talented. Truly, the man was one of a kind, but Linton didn't want to tell him that. That would only feed into his massive ego and that's definitely _not_ what Tobias needed at the moment. 

"Why don't you dance with me?" Tobias asked as he held his hands out for Linton, "Come on! If they play Whitney Houston, we can dance like we did in school!"

Linton choked out a laugh and smiled at him, grabbing his hands as he did so. "What?! You remember that?!"

"Why wouldn't I?" Tobias chuckled and pulled Linton to him, threading their fingers together as he guided the other into swaying side to side with him. "You were the best dance partner I ever had."

"And you were the only one I ever had." 

Both of them ended up chuckling as they moved together. Linton didn't mind this. He didn't mind touching Tobias and being close to him. However, if you would've told him a month ago to be like this with Tobias, he would've decked you then decked him just for existing. It was amazing what could occur within such a little amount of time, but he didn't care. It's not like Tobias was someone new in his life. He had known him for over twenty years and it was obvious that something had been there before. For some reason, it felt like they were just picking up where they left off. 

That was a bit frightening to Linton, though. He didn't want to feel like this so easily. He wasn't ready for it. He was living in the moment and trying not to think about the future, but now it was starting to hit him. He had to think about it at some point. This wasn't going to hold off for much longer. 

Eventually, the two were in one another's arms like they had been in at the school dance that they had attended years prior. Linton had the side of his head resting against Tobias's as they remained close to one another and danced to the music, reveling in the feeling of him rather than paying attention to what was going on around them. 

It was amazing how much could change over the years. Back in school, they didn't dance in the gym with everyone because they were afraid that they'd be attacked for it. Now they were on the dance floor at a wedding afterparty and embracing one another. If people hadn't assumed that there was something between them before, they did now, but they didn't comment on it. Nobody cared much about things like that anymore. They didn't make a big deal about it. 

Tobias wished that was the case back in school. Without a doubt, he would've flaunted Linton like nobody's business. He had a feeling that Linton would be the same way. Now they were attempting to be like that, as awkward as they were being with it.

"I like this song," Tobias whispered in Linton's ear. He hummed and squeezed his hand softly, nudging his nose against his head just before whispering again, "Do you know it?"

Linton wanted to melt from the feeling of Tobias whispering to him, but he kept his composure and nodded instead, squeezing his hand back along with it. "Mhm... Sing it to me, please."

"Since you asked so nicely."

Tobias scoffed while Linton smirked from his comment. He liked hearing Tobias sing. He couldn't deny that. Being in a band with him as the lead singer had been one of the greatest things he had ever done just because he could hear him sing everyday. It was like a little piece of heaven. 

_"I see forever when I look in your eyes. You're all I've ever wanted, I want you to be mine..."_ Tobias sang softly to him. He knew Linton wouldn't mind that he was a bit off-key due to him being intoxicated, mostly because Linton was the same way. What mattered to Linton was that Tobias was singing to him.

Moving his head so he could rest his forehead against Tobias's, Linton opened his eyes and looked at him as he sang. His heart was beginning to race in his chest and he couldn't help but crack a small smile because of it. He was happy. He hadn't felt this way in awhile and it was nice to feel like this for the first time in forever. He didn't even care anymore that it was Tobias of all people who was making him feel this way because it felt like a breath of fresh air. 

Tobias was oxygen after he hadn't been breathing for years. 

_"So here we are, face to face, and heart to heart,"_ Tobias went on, _"I want you to know that we will never be apart."_

_"Now I believe that wishes can come true 'cause when I see my whole world, I see only you,"_ Linton finished the line. 

Tobias grinned and gave a small laugh, moving his hand away from Linton's so he could wrap his arms around his waist and draw their waists closer together. "You sing it better than me."

"Shh... It's the chorus," Linton teased him, "The chorus is my favorite part."

Tobias wanted to laugh again, but he silenced himself instead. Something was blooming inside of him and he wanted to take it and run with it, but he couldn't. Not until Linton was ready. He'd be able to wait and maybe he'd be able to plan out his actions this time. He didn't want to mess up again, specifically with Linton. He felt like he was winning him over and that was a good sign. Blowing it wasn't an option. Scaring him off wasn't either. 

The chorus came and went, and Linton had shut his eyes again. He wanted to be closer to Tobias, but this was as close as they could get. He didn't want to break the gap between their lips because he was afraid of what would come of it if he did so, so he kept that to himself and bottled it up. 

_"I've looked for you all my life. Now that I've found you, we will never say goodbye,"_ Tobias sang to him gently. 

Linton felt a weight pressing down on his chest, but it wasn't a bad one. He was... overwhelmed. Too many feelings and emotions were threatening to bubble up inside of him and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't force them down. They weren't listening and Linton was beginning to panic. 

This couldn't happen. He couldn't let his feelings ruin things. They were supposed to be going slow, but something in him wanted more. It craved more. 

Hell, it craved Tobias. 

_"When I look into your eyes..."_ Tobias's voice brought Linton out of his mind, but the next line sank him back into it, _"I can see how much I love you."_

Linton wanted to burst out of his skin and begin shouting at the top of his lungs. That tugging. That goddamn tugging was happening again and he knew exactly what it meant. 

He wasn't just wanting Tobias. He was beginning to tell that he needed him again. His heart was racing and he could feel his pulse as he slid his fingers beneath his wrist and pressed against his skin, making him want to groan and collapse right then and there.

This feeling was all too familiar. He felt it back in school and back when he was in the band with Tobias. He knew exactly what it was and he couldn't handle it. Not right now, at least. 

When the song ended, Linton cleared his throat and spoke up as calmly as he could though every muscle in him was threatening to spasm, "I'm not feeling too hot. I think it was the alcohol."

Tobias immediately became concerned and he pulled away a little, looking Linton up and down quickly. "What, really? What's wrong?"

"I– It's just– I-it's–"

"It's what?"

"I'm drunk," Linton spit out. That was a lie. He wasn't drunk. "I think I'm drunk."

"Well, I mean... it's possible. You had three shots and sips from my beer." Tobias wasn't catching on to his bullshit because he was too worried about him actually feeling sick to think it was a lie. That didn't help Linton at all. "Would you like to leave?"

"I think so," Linton said in a high tone of voice. He cleared his throat and nodded quickly, glancing towards the door then pointing to it. "Yeah, yeah, uh– I think it's better if we–"

"You look pale," Tobias interrupted. He removed his arms from Linton and guided him away from the dance floor and to the table, handing him a glass of water as he grabbed their jackets. "Come on, let's go. I'll drive you home."

Tobias was such a gentleman. He was being so nice to Linton even though Linton was literally ditching him because of how he felt emotionally and he couldn't take it. Tobias was too much for him. Too much for him to process and deal with correctly. 

The car ride seemed like it lasted centuries when in reality, it was only about twenty minutes. Tobias kept checking on Linton– who was leaning against the window and gazing outside– and asking if he was okay. Linton would always nod, but the other didn't believe him. Thankfully, he didn't try to pry anything out of him. He just let it be. 

Upon arriving to Linton's, Tobias walked him to his door to make sure nothing would happen then said goodnight to him as usual. Linton flashed him a smile before shutting the door then leaning against it, waiting to hear his car pull away before he groaned loudly. 

"Fuck," he whined out, "Fuck. I'm so fucked. I'm so... so fucked."

Running his hands over his face, Linton stared up at the ceiling and groaned again. It had been inevitable from the start, but now it was happening. It was happening and Linton couldn't stop it. He hated that. He hated this.

Everything was falling into place like it had before and it was driving him crazy. Nonetheless, Linton dragged himself to bed and groaned into the pillow, cursing himself for allowing himself to cave in so easily.


	7. 7. I’ll Never Let You Go

## 7\. I’ll Never Let You Go

Linton was laying in bed and had his eyes focused on the ceiling with his arms resting behind his head, his mind racing with too many thoughts while he ran his fingers over the short strands of his hair. He had earbuds in just to drown out the sound of Simon and his fiancée, wanting to focus on how he felt rather than purposely distracting himself by listening to them. Something like this needed contemplation and he had to face it head on. He couldn't shy away from it and ignore it because that hadn't worked so far, which meant it wouldn't work in the future either. Confronting emotions like the ones he had currently wasn't easy, but it needed to be done. 

As much as he hated himself for it, Linton was falling back in love with Tobias. 

He hadn't told Simon or his father yet. Hell, he hadn't even said it aloud. He knew that saying something like that would scare him and make him want to destroy everything. He didn't want to do that, though. He wanted to keep trying. He didn't want to lose Tobias for a third time. 

It was scary to fall in love with Tobias again. He wasn't sure how it would turn out and all he could do was hope that it wouldn't crash and burn like it had before. If it did, he'd surely be done with everything. He'd be broken beyond repair. The last thing Linton wanted to be was beat down and alone, so he was going to try. He just hoped that Tobias would continue to do the same thing. 

Falling for the other once again was driving him crazy. He knew that Simon wouldn't be pleased with him, but at the same time, Simon shouldn't have a say in this. Him and Tobias had their own issues and weren't looking to resolve them; unlike Linton. Being mature and fixing things was a better option in his opinion, but Simon definitely felt otherwise. That was his own issue, though. Linton couldn't pick everything back up and glue it together again. That wasn't his job and he wasn't going to make it his job either. 

Linton closed his eyes for a moment and sighed to himself. This was difficult. His heart was telling him to jump on Tobias, but his mind was screaming at him and warning him. He didn't know which one to listen to and he wasn't about to ask someone else about it. This was up to him. Nobody else. 

Not even a month and a half ago, he hated Tobias and he never wanted to see him again. Just thinking about him made Linton twitch with anger and whenever he saw an article that mentioned him, he wanted to smash the screen of his phone or computer. Tobias made him feel so much rage that it was nearly uncontainable. Now Linton was pining after him. He was smiling when he was around him and he felt clingy. 

God. He hated what he did at the wedding, but he couldn't help it. 

Sitting so close to Tobias felt amazing. He felt that connection form again and he had missed it. Once he felt a small shimmer of hope, he couldn't help but attach himself to Tobias again. He was scared of losing it and he had been desperate for that sensation. It had been so long. Too long. 

—

_"I miss seeing you," Linton said over the phone to Tobias. Three years had passed since their graduation and life was starting to pick up. Their schedules conflicted and collided, and it caused them to see less and less of one another. It hurt more than anything else. It wasn't like it used to be. "How's the band?"_

_"It's good," Tobias said softly. He bit the inside of his lower lip as he leaned his back against the wall of his hotel room. His band mates in Repugnant were watching a movie and smoking weed, but he was standing to the side to talk to Linton. It felt like years had passed since he last heard his voice or seen his face. He missed him. "Busy. Too busy."_

_"Yeah... I've noticed," Linton chuckled sadly. Silence hung between them over the phone line and Linton looked down. There was a hole forming in his chest because Tobias wasn't there with him. He knew that it wouldn't get easier, though. Tobias was just going to get busier and busier, and soon enough he'd never see him again, as if they weren't at that point already. Clearing his throat, Linton tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear and attempted to push the conversation forward, "I heard the record. It sounds nice."_

_"You like it?" Tobias asked with a hint of excitement in his voice, "Are you just saying that or did you enjoy it?"_

_"No, it was good, I swear! I loved it."_

_"Oh, okay. Good... I love you."_

_Linton hesitated for a moment. He swallowed thickly then nodded, mumbling a response back to him, "I know. I love you, too."_

_Tobias frowned and he felt his heart sink a little. There wasn't any passion in his voice anymore. He knew the same could be said for him. He wasn't blaming Linton at all for how things were. If anything, he was the one at fault. This new band of his was stealing all of his attention and had been for a few months. Of course he was in it during high school, but they were attempting to push forward even more now. That meant that more time away from home._

_More time away from Linton._

_"What are we gonna do?" Linton asked suddenly over the phone. Tobias's eyebrows shot up slowly as if he was surprised, but he knew exactly what he was talking about. "We never see each other anymore."_

_"I know... I know, I'm sorry."_

_"I'm sorry, too."_

_"It isn't your fault," Tobias told him._

_"It isn't yours either," Linton said, "It's just... life. This is how things are. I can't be mad at you, and I'm not. I'm not mad at all. You're doing what you love and that's fantastic. You know I support you and I want you to be happy. If that means letting go of me, that's okay."_

_"I don't want to let go of you," Tobias whispered quickly. His voice cracked and he glanced over at his band mates to see if they were staring. Thankfully, they were too stoned to do much of anything. Swallowing the lump in his throat after he turned away from them, he returned his attention to Linton and what they were talking about. "I need you."_

_"I know. I know." Linton was choking out his words at that point. This was happening. It had to. Neither of them could do this anymore. "I need you, too, but I– I–"_

_"I'm coming home tomorrow," the singer interrupted, "I promise."_

_"Don't, you need to work on–"_

_"I need to talk to you face to face about this. I can't do it over the phone. That's not how it should be."_

_Linton was silent again. Tears were threatening to spill from his eyes and he could hardly speak. All he did was nod then force out a short reply, "Okay."_

_"Okay. Okay, I'll come home tomorrow." Looking down at the ground, Tobias squeezed his eyes shut to stop himself from crying. He wanted to breakdown, but he couldn't. Not yet. Nothing had even been officially decided. "I'll see you soon. I love you."_

_"I love you, too."_

_With that, Tobias hung up the phone and told his band mates that he'd be leaving for a short trip home the next day. Seeing as they were under the influence, they didn't care much and they didn't protest either. Tobias was glad, but that didn't make him look forward to what was about to come._

_The next day was hell. It was absolute hell for the both of them._

_Linton was in tears within minutes of them talking. Shortly after that, Tobias was the exact same way. He couldn't stand watching Linton cry. No matter how hard the bassist tried to hold it off, he couldn't. That broke Tobias._

_First, he would start looking away. He could feel tears form in his eyes and he didn't want Tobias to see them. After that, he'd drop his head and blink quickly to try and fight them off again. By then, there'd be no point in trying because with his head down, the tears would spill anyway. That's when Tobias began to break as well. Watching Linton attempt to keep himself calm was the most heartbreaking thing ever._

_That was until he'd begin sobbing._

_His entire body would shake and he'd let out the saddest noises. No matter how much Tobias tried to comfort him, it was no use. Linton would always wrap his arms around him and hold him close. At that point, Tobias would break because he could feel his love trembling and falling apart within his grasp. That hurt him because all he ever wanted to do was hold Linton together. In those moments, he couldn't._

_That's what was happening at that moment._

_"I'm gonna miss you," Linton sobbed into Tobias's shoulder. He was embracing him as they stood in the living room, his fingers clutching his shirt desperately. Their breakup was mutual. They knew that this couldn't go on for the moment and that they'd be better off alone so they could focus on their lives. That didn't mean it didn't hurt, though. "Call me, please. Don't forget about me."_

_"I'm not gonna forget about you. I'm not." Tobias ran his hand through Linton's hair and sniffled softly, his heart breaking with each of Linton's quiet sobs. He never knew that something could hurt this badly. He didn't know that a breakup could make him feel like the world was ending, but here he was. Holding onto Linton like he'd lose everything if he were to actually leave. "We'll be okay, you know that?"_

_"I'm gonna miss you," he sobbed out again, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."_

_"No, no, Linton, don't do that. Don't do that." Pulling away, he cupped Linton's cheeks in his hands as he moved him back so he could look at him. He wiped his tears away with his thumbs and bit his lower lip softly, getting lost in the look of Linton's eyes before he forced himself to speak, "The timing is just... weird right now, okay? We'll be together again someday. Do you believe me? Do you trust me, Linton?"_

_Nodding, Linton sniffled and tightened his arms around Tobias. "I trust you. I trust you more than anyone else."_

_"Good. Please believe me when I say that we'll be together again someday, okay? Please believe me."_

_"I believe you," Linton mumbled, "I love you."_

_"I love you, too. I love you so much." Tugging Linton into him, he hugged him again and let himself cry for a few minutes. He couldn't help it. He was letting Linton go for the time being. He couldn't make the love of his life feel lonely while he made him wait around. He couldn't do that. They knew that they needed to break up and try again later. They knew that this had to be done._

_With that, they were through. Their relationship since graduation had ended on mutual terms and while it killed both of them, they went through with it for the other's sake. All they ever wanted was for the other to be happy and if that meant taking a break, then that's what they'd do._

_They'd always do what was best for each other, even if that meant ending something that they thought they needed. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it at the time._

_Maybe in the future, that would pay off. But at the time, they didn't know that._

—

"Linton, did you hear me? ...Linton? Linton, are you okay?"

Opening his eyes and ripping his earbuds out of his ears, Linton sat up and turned his head to Simon. Simon had a worried expression on his face as he looked over his friend. Linton had been isolating himself all day which was highly unlike him. Obviously something was eating at him, but he hadn't told Simon what it was yet. Now he was curious. 

"What? Sorry, I was... doing some thinking," Linton said through a mumble. He cleared his throat and paused the song that was playing, looking up at Simon again afterwards. "Did you need something?"

The guitarist frowned. "No, I just came to check on you. Are you okay?"

Linton didn't know how to answer that question. He knew that he wasn't acting like his usual self, but he couldn't tell Simon about how he felt towards Tobias. That would only set him off and the last thing he wanted to deal with was a pissed off former fire ghoul. 

He certainly lived up to his old stage name sometimes.

"Just depressed," Linton responded. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the full truth either. However, it'd be sufficient for now. "One of those days."

"Oh. Do you need me to get you anything?"

"No, no. I'm fine. I'll be fine. I just need to sleep it off."

"Confronting it is better than running from it."

_'You're one to talk,'_ Linton thought, _'How about you confront Tobias instead of running in the opposite direction just to be petty?'_

"I'll be fine," Linton stated again, "I promise."

Simon didn't believe him, but he didn't want to argue with Linton. He nodded and patted his shoulder, retreating to the door afterwards. "Okay. Shout if you need anything, yeah?"

"Yeah, I will. Thanks."

Simon left after that and Linton sighed, shoving his earbuds back into his ears to listen to music again. He appreciated Simon for being such a good friend, but he was upset that he couldn't talk to him about this. Simon understood him more than anyone else did, so keeping secrets from him made him feel like shit, but then again he didn't want Simon to get pissed at him for something like this. He didn't befriend Tobias again just to lose someone else in the process. He wasn't kicking Simon out to replace him with Tobias. 

Linton wasn't treating people how Tobias treated him. He couldn't do that. 

Sighing again, Linton laid back and turned up the volume to the song that was playing. Honestly, he couldn't stand the singer's voice, but he enjoyed the instrumentals and the lyrics. While the lyrics were making his heart race, he laid there and listened to it whilst thinking about Tobias.

_...Angel eyes, you have angel eyes. Such a smile that lights up my life..._

That was true. Every time Tobias smiled, Linton smiled shortly afterwards. His face seemed to light up whenever he'd get excited about something and as much as Linton didn't want to come off as creepy, he couldn't help but look at him. Tobias was stunning. Even when he was wearing a ghoul mask, you could tell when he was smiling. Those eyes of his would give it away. That was one of Linton's favorite things to see. 

_...First time I laid my eyes upon you, all my dreams were answered. First time I kissed your tender lips, my love to you, I surrendered..._

School. God, Linton thought about their first encounter before their relationship all the time. Tobias had snapped at him in the breakfast line and told him to not look at him the way that he was, and of course Linton checked him out anyway. He couldn't stop himself from doing so. Tobias was cute. 

And fuck. Their first kiss. He remembered it vividly. Electricity shot through his veins and his heart was beating so fast that he thought it would jump out of his chest. After that, every kiss he shared with Tobias felt the exact same way. Those currents would electrify every muscle in him and he'd yearn for Tobias whenever he'd pull away. His kisses were addictive and even now, Linton wanted them. He needed them. 

_...I'll never let you go, you're always on my mind. You're the only one for me, you're all I need..._

Linton was too overwhelmed to even process that he had sat up and was holding his head in his hands. Tobias was rushing throughout his mind at a million miles an hour and he was seconds away from calling him and telling him how he felt. He couldn't do that, though. He had to wait. He couldn't jump the gun. 

But Jesus fucking Christ, Linton was falling in love with Tobias all over again and he could hardly comprehend it. 

Those feelings from school and after school were coming back. He was getting excited from thinking about Tobias all over again and he felt like a stupid teenager. He was so hung up on him and he wanted to talk to him all the time– be with him, also. Every inch of him wanted and needed Tobias, and it was killing him. This was killing him. 

Tobias was going to be the death of him. But Linton wasn't planning on dying unless Tobias had something to do with his death. 

He knew that he was supposed to be with him. He had known it for years and had pushed it back at certain times, but he couldn't do that anymore. It was inevitable. His heart wanted what it wanted, and that just so happened to be Tobias. It had always been Tobias. Throughout everything, he knew that Tobias was the one person who really got into his heart and made him feel a certain way. 

Now he was coming to terms with it again and he knew he had to tell Tobias. 

He was going to stop running. He was going to tell Tobias how he felt, no matter how it ended.


	8. 8. More Than Words

## 8\. More Than Words

The two were with one another again and Linton was tapping his foot almost constantly. He wanted to tell Tobias how he felt, but he couldn't just say it without any explanation. Besides, the evening had just started. He couldn't dump this on him right at the beginning of things. It wouldn't kill him to wait a couple hours. 

However, hours felt like centuries to Linton at that point. Ever since that night at Simon's, he hadn't stopped thinking about how he felt. He was practically a nervous wreck when he called Tobias and asked if he was free the following week. Thankfully, Tobias didn't catch on to how jittery Linton seemed on the phone and told him that he had things to do, but would be happy to have him tag along. Linton nearly melted from the gesture and instantly agreed to accompany him. 

Linton didn't know what Tobias was doing beforehand, but come to find out, he was talking to the people who were mixing the new Ghost record. Usually, he would've been salty, but he wasn't that time. He was in a new band called Priest, so it wouldn't be fair of him to be angry about Tobias moving forward with Ghost as best as he could. Besides, he'd listen to the record nonetheless and he knew he'd enjoy it. Tobias never produced anything bad. 

Unless it came from Subvision. 

But that was in the past. 

"These guys really know what they're doing," Tobias said to Linton as they stood in the hall and drank from their cups. They were in the middle of the recording studio and waiting whilst things were being talked about inside the room. After this, they'd be heading out and going on their actual date. Tobias hadn't told Linton where they were going because he wanted it to be a surprise. He knew that he'd enjoy it. "It sounds fantastic so far."

"Did you expect any different?" Linton asked before he took a drink of his water. "You've got an interesting concept for this album."

"It's nothing that hasn't been done before," Tobias said with a shrug, as if he was brushing it off, "Maybe the next album will push more boundaries."

"You do that as it is. You talk about Satan and sex in nearly every song."

"I know, but... I want more. I need to do more than that."

"Well... like what?"

As he looked over at him, Linton could practically see the wheels in Tobias's mind turning. His thought process was deep and sometimes, it'd send the singer into an unbreakable silence for days whilst he thought over his plans. Of course Linton didn't want to drive Tobias into a shell like that, but he was curious. He wanted to know how Tobias could possibly better a Ghost album. 

The way that he thought was time consuming and deemed unnecessary by a handful of people. He truly was an over-thinker, but that wasn't a bad thing. It just showed that he was a perfectionist and wanted to see how far he could expand the plains of his mind. 

Linton was the same way to a certain extent. He certainly couldn't think the way Tobias did, but he was creative in his own fashion. Hell, he had been one of the masterminds behind Priest and that was a fantastic band as well. They had an interesting concept and look that grabbed the attention of anyone willing to experiment, and Linton was a part of that creation. He had done something like Tobias had with Ghost, but he was different about it. He wasn't looking for the credit that Tobias craved for. He was just doing something he loved whilst being a bit shady in the process. 

"I don't know," Tobias said suddenly, breaking the calm silence that had fallen over them. "I'd have to think about it more. Plus, that's years away. I have time."

"Good. I wouldn't want you becoming distracted by a thought like that before our date." With a smirk, Linton threw his now empty cup away and walked over to Tobias, resting his hand on his side to pull him closer. His eyes travelled across his face before he locked gazes with him, watching as a smile formed on Tobias's lips. "Are we leaving soon?"

"In about twenty minutes," Tobias said softly, turning around a bit to set his cup down on the table. After that, he faced Linton once more. There was no reason to speak up because they were so close to one another. It felt nice to whisper to Linton like this again. "Don't worry. We'll be out of here soon."

"Good. I'm becoming impatient."

"Good things come to those who wait."

"Oh, is that so?"

"It is." Tobias wrapped his arms around Linton's middle half and tugged him close, their noses brushing together after the taller male had rested his forehead down against the other's. "It'll be worth the wait. I promise."

"Mm..." Linton bit his lower lip and tipped his head up, his lips just inches away from Tobias's. "Do you pinky promise, though?"

Glancing down at his lips, he smirked and gave Linton a gentle squeeze, pulling him even closer in the process. "I do. Does that make it better?"

"Makes everything better."

Linton was about to give in and kiss Tobias, but before he could, the door opened and Tobias was called into the studio again. Naturally, both of them felt a bit sheepish since they were caught in the midst of an intimate embrace, but Tobias shrugged it off quicker than Linton did, giving him one last squeeze before walking off into the studio and telling him he'd be out soon. 

_'Twenty minutes my ass,'_ Linton said to himself, waiting rather impatiently for Tobias to come back out so they could move further with their night. 

—

Tobias had certainly surprised Linton after they left the recording studio. Linton was expecting to be taken someplace busy and hectic since that matched Tobias's mood for the evening, but instead he found himself sitting outside with two men playing guitar a few tables away from them. The evening was warm and calm, which was the opposite of how Linton felt internally. He was still dying to tell Tobias how he felt, but for the life of him it wouldn't come out. It's like something in him was stopping him from saying it. 

He'd have to say it eventually. Otherwise, it'd give him an aneurysm. 

The restaurant that they were at was fancy, but not too upper class. Neither of them enjoyed dining like that, but Tobias decided to kick it up a notch that night just to show Linton that he was giving his all. He didn't want to take him to a restaurant where he'd be let down and feel as if he didn't mean much, so Tobias took the time out to find this place and research it to see if it was good enough for the both of them. At first, he was unsure of how the other male would react, but now that they were sitting at a table together and smiling every time they made eye contact, he figured he had chosen correctly.

"They're very good musicians," Tobias stated about the performers that evening. He glanced over at them and listened for a few moments, a smile suddenly spreading across his lips as he let out a laugh. "I should recruit them for the band, shouldn't I?"

Linton scoffed. "Hey, it's up to you. I doubt they'd say no."

"What makes you say that?"

"People can hate you as much as they want, but they can't deny that Ghost is fantastic," Linton said. He shrugged afterwards. "That's how I thought after everything happened, at least. I guess I can't speak for everyone else."

Tobias felt his heart skip from what Linton said. He didn't know that he felt that way. Linton had every right to hate him and the band, but now that he knew that he didn't even when they were on bad terms gave him a good feeling inside. Linton was mature and showed it. At least one of them was. 

"You're incredible," Tobias told him. He rested his hand on his cheek as his gaze flittered around Linton's face, taking in every feature of his as if it would be his last time seeing him. He couldn't help but look at him like that. Linton was so stunning and unique. No one looked like him and Tobias didn't want someone to. He didn't want someone else to infringe upon who and what Linton was, which was a one of kind masterpiece. "You know that, right?"

Linton laughed shyly and shook his head, looking away from Tobias as he replied, "I don't think I'm incredible. Maybe cool, I guess if you'd want to reach for that, but... I don't know–"

"No, you're incredible," Tobias interrupted him. When Linton brought his head up, their gazes locked again and Tobias smiled gently. He reached across the table and grabbed Linton's hand, giving it a light squeeze to reassure the other that he meant what he said. "I mean it. You're... I don't know. I want to say better than me, but I don't want to tear either of us down. I don't want that to happen with us."

Linton couldn't say anything. His bottom lip was captured between his teeth as he nodded and kept his gaze focused on Tobias, captured by his truthful and emotional words. 

"You're strong. I mean... I broke you. I know I did, yet here you are– Carrying on and going about life... Shit, _trying_ to be with me again. You're just... incredible. You are, truly, and it's breathtaking. You're a very unique person and I..." Tobias's voice trailed off. 

Linton knew what he was about to say.

His eyes went wide and his heart began to race as a wave of anxiety rushed over him. It felt good to know that he wasn't the only one who was experiencing emotions like that again. But then again, he wasn't expecting it so soon. It's like it had all happened with no warning. 

Tobias knew that he almost slipped up and he wanted to slam his head down against the table because of it. He was waiting until Linton made a move. He didn't want to scare him away or guilt him into saying the same if he didn't feel that way. It was killing him day by day, but he had to keep his mouth shut and he had to keep his feelings to himself. Perhaps it would pay off in the end. 

Like many times before, silence hung over them. It was slightly uncomfortable, but only because both of them were holding off from saying how they felt. Neither of them knew when the right moment would arrive and that wasn't helping the tension at all. 

It had been years since Linton had confessed his love to someone. Truthfully, the last time he had done it was with someone other than Tobias and he felt bad because he knew he wasn't in love with them. He had mostly said it because he wanted to forget about Tobias. Obviously, the relationship hadn't lasted. It didn't feel right to be with someone else. Something was missing. Maybe it was the passion or the backstory, or maybe it was because they weren't Tobias and never could be. Linton knee that all three of those things were the cause of it, but it was weird to admit at the time. Now it just seemed like the obvious answer. 

Their food came out and the two ate whilst having a bit of small talk in between their bites of food. During the time that they ate, the tension faded, but only because they were more focused on devouring their long awaited meal to attempt to build up a dam to conceal their emotions. Tobias was starving since he hadn't eaten since that morning and Linton was rather hungry just because he was hungry most of the time. He couldn't pinpoint why, but that's the way he was. Tobias used to make fun of him for it, but he didn't mind it. It was all in good fun. 

The musicians continued to play as they ate which helped soothed the energy around them. They were good artists. The two of them occasionally found themselves nodding their head or tapping their foot to a certain song. Every once and awhile, they'd remember a few of the lyrics and mumble them to themselves. Once one did that, the other smiled and listened to them as much as they could. They loved hearing one another sing. Since they both had an extensive background of doing vocals for either their music or someone else's, they didn't sound terrible. They just wished that at the table, they could hear the other a bit better.

Once they were finished with their food and their plates had been taken away, they sat forward and held hands again, their eyes making contact every few seconds to give an approving nod regarding the musicians. The two sounded perfect together. It reminded Tobias of him and Linton. They had sung together before and it's like their voices were meant for one another's. While Tobias had a rather nasally and tight sounding voice, Linton's was a bit more rounded out and relaxed. They were able to harmonize fairly well and at that moment, Tobias was missing the sound of it. In fact, he was missing a lot. 

He missed the way that Linton said 'I love you' to him randomly. He missed the sound of his voice in the morning after he woke up and was still sleepy. He missed the way that Linton would whine and protest when Tobias had to move to go out and do things for the day. He missed how Linton would beam at him whenever he did the simplest things. 

Linton praised him and loved every little thing he did. Tobias missed that. He missed him. 

"This is a good song," Linton pointed out. Tobias shook his head as if he was physically removing those thoughts from his mind so he could listen to the song for a moment. It was an older song, but Tobias knew it right away. That caused him to blush. Linton didn't notice. "It's... uh..."

"A song," Tobias mumbled. 

"Yeah," Linton said quietly and shortly, "A song."

_...Saying 'I love you' is not the words I want to hear from you..._

Linton glanced down at their hands and he bit the inside of his lower lip. He was about to explode with how much tension had built up inside of him. Tobias was right there and this song was playing in the background. Their fingers were laced together and the air felt just right. Everything was perfect, except for Linton. He felt like a mess on the inside. 

It's like his emotions were the ocean and Tobias was a hurricane. He gained energy from Linton and he only grew more and more powerful when he was around him. Linton couldn't help but give in and help things churn into something bigger. Sometimes, it missed the coastline, but in the past, it had made landfall. He wasn't looking for landfall that time. He was looking for a current in him that would lead them away from destruction. 

He just hoped that the waters were nice this time around. 

_...What would you say if I took those words away? Then you couldn't make things new just by saying 'I love you'..._

Tobias looked at Linton and cleared his throat softly, his heart attempting to leap out of his chest. 

"Hey," Linton spoke up quietly. His mouth was dry and he was a nervous wreck, but he couldn't keep this in anymore. It had to come out. Once Tobias looked at him, he tensed up and forced himself to get his words out, "I... I– I need to tell you something."

"Oh... O– Okay," Tobias stammered out. He gulped in a nearly audible way and waved his free hand for Linton to continue. "Go ahead."

Linton opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He was choking on his voice. God, how was he going to do this? How was this going to come out coherently?

_...Now that I've tried to talk to you and make you understand, all you have to do is close your eyes and just reach out your hands– Touch me, hold me close, don't ever let me go..._

Those lyrics sent Linton over the edge. He could do this. Tobias was right in front of him. They were hand in hand and their eyes were still lingering on one another's. This was it. This was the moment. 

"I just..." Linton started out in a very unsure way, blurting out the rest as it came to him through an occasional stammer or pause, "I used to hate you. I thought you were the worst person around and I couldn't stand you for what you did to me and my friends, and I just... Even the thought of you made me want to punch you. But now... Now I can't stop thinking about you and I don't want to punch you, I want to _hold_ you. I want to– to _be_ with you and be _around_ you, all of it, all of that stuff. I just... I don't know what's happening. Well, that's a lie, I know what it is. I know, but I'm just... Too afraid–"

"Say it," Tobias cut him off, "Say it before I do."

Linton gave him an unsure look as his pulse sped up again. He knew he wasn't making any sense, but Tobias was used to that. Many times in the past, Linton stuttered helplessly to try and tell the other how he felt, and eventually Tobias learned how to pick apart his broken and nervous words to see what he was saying. It seemed like that hadn't gone away since Tobias clearly understood what he was going on about. 

"I'm in love with you," Linton said before he could overthink. He winced from how quickly and desperately he said it, but didn't stop himself from speaking in the same manner again, "I'm so fucking in love with you that it's driving me crazy. It's insane, I don't know why, but I love you, I do. I really love you. I love you so damn much."

The last pillars in Tobias finally fell. Linton had started chipping away at them in school and now, they were finally crumbling down. He was falling fast and hard, and he just so happened to be falling into Linton. He was engulfed and enraptured by him, and he couldn't deny it. 

He knew that Linton was the missing piece. Things felt right in the past and they didn't now. Well... Up until this point, that is. 

Suddenly, it felt like the dark clouds that had been casting a shadow over him for years were finally being blown away. The sun was coming out and he felt... Alive. He felt brand new and that's what he was expecting. He knew Linton would do that for him and fuck, he wasn't going to lose him again. 

"I'm in love with you, too," Tobias said breathlessly. He grinned brightly at Linton and squeezed his hand, containing his emotions and reaction as much as possible since they are in public. "I love you, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for all the shit I put you through, you didn't deserve it, I–"

"Shut up. Just shut up."

"I'll never do it again, I promise, I swear on my life. I love you, I'm so sorry–"

"Tobias, I said shut up," Linton nearly growled out. 

Before Tobias knew it, Linton was pulling him up by the collar of his shirt and leaning across the table to kiss him. His lips tasted and felt exactly how he remembered them and Tobias felt like he was falling through Heaven itself. God, how he missed Linton's lips. He always kissed him as if it were his last chance to do so and he was teasing about it, too. He'd nip at his lips or drag the tip of his tongue along them just before he'd pull away slightly, only to lean back in seconds later to kiss him hungrily again. Tobias melted every time that happened. 

His hands came up and grasped Linton's wrist just so he'd have some other form of physical contact with him as the kiss continued. The world around them faded for a moment and the song did, as well. Linton forgot that he was leaning across the table when he attempted to move closer and hit the edge of it instead, causing him to grunt quietly and pull away from the kiss. 

Like the first time that they had kissed, both of them were starry eyed and flustered. Linton had a look of surprise in his eyes from his own actions and Tobias looked like he was seeing the creation of planets happening right in front of them. Both of them kept their lips parted as they breathed quickly and shallowly, their eyes flickering each of the other's as they searched for something to say. 

"Fuck," Linton gasped out first, "Fuck. I love you."

"I love you, too," Tobias said in the same tone, "I missed you."

"I missed you, too. I missed you so damn much."

Just like before, Linton pulled him in for another desperate kiss. He knew that it was becoming unacceptable to do something like this in a public setting, but he didn't care at all. He had Tobias back. Fireworks were bursting inside of him and a fire was being lit in the pit of his stomach the longer that he kissed Tobias with his lips parted. 

Tobias didn't care either. The last thing he wanted to focus on was someone else since Linton was infiltrating his mind yet again and nestling himself inside his heart. How did he ever manage to let him go? How did he live without these kisses? 

Tobias didn't know, but he didn't want to find out again. Life without Linton was something he didn't want to experience for what felt like the tenth time. 

However, something in him told him that he wouldn't be losing him ever again after that. For once, he trusted his judgment. 

It seemed like his thoughts about Linton were the only good ones he had had for awhile and he knew exactly why. And he didn't want that to change.


	9. 9. Your Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GET READY FOR TOBIAS TO GET FUCKIN’ WRECKED.

## 9\. Your Love

After the two confessed their love for one another, Linton began helping Tobias in however many ways he could. He convinced him and aided him with apologizing to those he had fucked over so Tobias didn't have to have it weigh on his shoulders anymore. Even though some people didn't accept his apology, it was better to try to do it than it was to not do it at all. Tobias didn't want Linton to drag himself into it, but Linton didn't listen, as always. He wanted to help Tobias because he could only imagine how stressful all of this was for him. 

Along with that, they worked out the kinks between them by talking and finding out what they wanted from one another. It ultimately boiled down to both of them wanting to be one another's again– Boyfriends. Linton was hesitant at first, like always, but Tobias eased him towards the idea and eventually, Linton came around. They hadn't told anyone about their relationship, but they didn't want to. It wasn't anyone else's business. What happened between them was their business and no one needed to know about it. 

Mostly, Linton was afraid to tell his father and Simon, and Tobias was afraid to come out as a weirdo who was dating a former band mate of his. It was just easier to keep their relationship hidden because of that. 

More often than not, they were with each other. They were inseparable again like they always had been before. Linton would steal kisses from Tobias every chance he could get and Tobias would hold Linton close as often as possible. It felt right to have him by his side. Without him, he felt lonely and he didn't ever want to have to deal with life without Linton again. He was a burst of heat in the deserts of Antarctica and Tobias always fled to him for warmth and comfort. 

Thankfully, Linton never turned him away anymore.

They both mutually agreed to step up in their own way. They swore to tell each other the truth about how the other made them feel, whether it was happy, sad, angry, or anything at all. It was expected in a relationship, but since they failed at it in the past, they were taking extra precautions with it now. They didn't want this to fall through and crash and burn. 

They were completely faithful and dedicated to one another. Linton hardly even looked at anyone anymore and Tobias did the same. They weren't obligated to act like that, but that's how they were. They were so invested in each other that no one else appealed to them in the slightest. It was like they were blinded by the other, but they didn't care to change it. They wouldn't want to be like that for anyone else.

Tobias was scheduled to arrive at Linton's any moment now. Linton had busted out some wine since Tobias had called to say that his day had been stressful. Linton wanted to make him feel better. He'd do anything at all to ensure that Tobias was comfortable when he came home. 

He was aching for him and he hadn't even been gone for more than five hours. Days seemed so boring now when he wasn't with Tobias. He didn't know why that was, but he wasn't questioning it. This was how he felt before and he didn't want to lose it. Not again. 

To make things a bit extra, Linton played music through the stereo system in the living room and set out candles. He obviously had plans for Tobias later that evening, but he wanted to ease into them as slowly as he could. 

Knowing him, though, it wouldn't take long before he caved in and gave in to what both of them wanted. 

As Linton was pouring wine into glasses, Tobias walked through the door with a sigh. From the exhale alone, Linton could sense his stress. Immediately, he grabbed one of the wine glasses and walked out to Tobias, offering a gentle smile as Tobias kicked his shoes off. 

"Hey, there," he said softly. His free hand came up and cupped Tobias's cheek to guide him towards him, leaving a long, lingering kiss to his lips before he pulled away and offered the glass to him. "It's your favorite– I bought it for you today."

"You're too sweet for me," Tobias said through another sigh, though this one was light. He smiled at Linton then took a sip of the wine, brushing past him after to walk to the kitchen. Linton followed close behind, his hands reaching out to grab Tobias's waist once he came to a stop by the counter in the kitchen. 

"I missed you, you know," Linton said as he leaned in. He bit at Tobias's earlobe gently, tugging at it before pressing kisses to his jawline. Tobias physically tensed up beneath him and swallowed the wine he had in his mouth, his eyes fluttering shut shortly after. He knew that Linton would do something like this, but he wasn't opposed to it. Linton nipped at his jawline as he gave Tobias's hips a squeeze, pinning him where he was to close the space between them while he whispered hotly against his skin, "How's the wine?"

"It's... good... very good," Tobias breathed out. Reaching behind him, he carefully set the glass down on the counter and rested his hands on Linton; one on his neck and the other on his bicep. He gave the latter a small squeeze as he groaned and leaned into his touch, his body reacting immediately. "If you would've told me that you were in the mood, I would've came home sooner."

"Oh, but I wouldn't want to distract you," Linton said teasingly with a smirk.

With his thumbs sliding beneath Tobias's shirt, he rubbed circles onto his hipbones as he attached his lips to his neck and sucked. Tobias's breath hitched before he released a groan, succumbing to the feeling of Linton's teeth and lips on his skin. His body shuddered as Linton ran his tongue over the area he was sucking on, his hand squeezing his bicep again. 

Linton knew how to work him up. He knew where to bite and where to kiss, and where to touch along with it. Tobias wished that he wasn't so sensitive for him, but he couldn't help it. Linton's hands and mouth were able to unravel him quickly and Linton knew it. He used it to his advantage. 

Linton took his time with leaving marks on Tobias's neck. He didn't care if they were visible. He liked it when people stared at Tobias and realized that he had bruises all over his throat. Tobias carried them proudly and wasn't afraid to run his fingers over them in public to relive the feeling of Linton marking his skin. Now that it was happening though, he was a mess– His back arching slightly as his lips parted and his hands gripped Linton tightly. Linton angled Tobias's hips more towards him to feel the bulge that was beginning to form at the front of his pants and groaned, his tongue flicking over Tobias's skin to stop himself from grinding against him. 

"Linton..." Tobias breathed out, his cheeks flushed red. He wanted more. Linton was a tease and he knew it, but Tobias couldn't handle that right now. His body was tense and Linton wasn't making it any better. Every bite and suck to his skin made Tobias wanted to squirm away from the counter and drag Linton to the bedroom, but he couldn't move. Linton was keeping him where he was. He gasped quietly as Linton bit a little harder on his neck, only to moan and shiver afterwards from how good it felt. "Linton, more, please..."

"Somebody's desperate, hm?" Linton mumbled with a smirk on his face. Bringing his head up, he hovered his lips over Tobias's, his eyes closed as he slowly rocked his head further in then back to tease Tobias. "What do you want? You have to tell me."

"You know what I want," Tobias whined out. He always became embarrassed in situations like this, especially with Linton being more dominant now than he once was. Tobias became shy and sheepish whenever Linton told him to say what he wanted aloud, but that didn't mean that he didn't like doing it. Shakily, Tobias spoke, his fingers twitching on Linton as his body begged for more, "I want... I want you to... To..."

"To what?" Linton prodded. He brushed their lips together, but didn't kiss Tobias yet. The action yielded a soft whimper from Tobias, which only fueled Linton's actions. "Come on, Tobias... Tell me. Use your words."

Tobias nearly melted from what Linton was doing and saying, but he had to maintain his composure. He didn't want to break so soon, even though Linton made it so easy for him to fall apart. Heat traveled through him as he attempted to edge his hips forward, only to be stopped by the other and hummed at, something that told Tobias to stay still. At this point, they didn't need words for some of the things they did. They mutually understood one another based on actions and small noises. 

Although he was blushing and stammering, Tobias got out what he wanted to say, moans peaking out through his words from how overwhelmed he was already, "Fuck me... Please, Linton, fuck me."

"Mm, that's good, but..." Tobias groaned from Linton's unfinished sentence. He knew that Linton would make him elaborate and even though he was ashamed to, he knew that it would make things better in the long run. Suddenly, Tobias's head was tilted back and Linton trailed his tongue beneath his jawline, the feeling doing wonders for Tobias and forcing a moan out of him as he gripped Linton tightly. Linton nipped at his chin and hummed, his nose pressing against his skin moments later. "Tell me more, Tobias... I know that can't be all."

"Linton, god, _please_..."

"You want me to finger you first, don't you? You want me to stretch you out and make a mess of you with just my hands..." Raising his head and lowering Tobias's, he smirked and cupped his chin in his hand. The fingers of the other hand curled around the belt loops of his jeans, using both grips he had on Tobias to guide him to the bedroom with him as he walked backwards. With searing eye contact, Linton spoke, his words so low and teasing that Tobias felt his legs going weak as he walked with him, "I know you want to be edged at least once, don't you? You love it when someone denies you an orgasm. You love squirming on the bed with your cock throbbing and aching, and your hands twitching to grab something, anything at all... and I know you love it when someone wraps their hand around you and touches you until you can hardly breathe, but they stop just when you're about to cum. Is that what you want, Tobias? Do you want my hands on you as you beg me to let you cum?"

Tobias couldn't even reply right away. His head was spinning and his mouth was dry. His answer was yes and it would always be yes, but even that one word wasn't able to come from his lips. Linton knew how to render him so flustered that he was speechless and he also knew how much he loved doing that. Tobias couldn't deny that he liked it a little too much, but he did wish that he wasn't so pathetic sometimes. 

By the time that they were in the bedroom, Tobias felt useless. Linton almost carelessly shoved him down onto the bed then grabbed his knees to spread his legs apart, inviting himself to step in between them. His hands moved to Tobias's shoulders to push him onto his back, listening to him gasp as he leaned down and kept him against the bed. 

"Look at you, Tobias... If only people could see how submissive you are with me. They'd think differently of you, wouldn't they?" Linton chuckled softly as Tobias writhed once beneath him. He took one hand and brushed it through Tobias's hair, a little something to distract him for when he pressed their hips together and began grinding against him. The force and weight of Linton's hips on him pinned Tobias to the mattress as he shifted his lower half up to try and meet the pace of his grinding. Tobias moaned as his cheeks went red again, his eyes falling shut and his hands coming up to grasp Linton's shirt. All of Tobias's actions made Linton chuckle as he hummed lowly, resting his forehead on Tobias's as he spoke more, "They'd see you as a man who's desperate for another man... As someone who wants to be fucked so hard that he can hardly speak... the funny thing is that I haven't even _done_ that yet and you're already speechless."

Tobias was seeing stars at this point. His cock was aching in his pants and he was gasping too many times for him to count. He wanted more of Linton, all of Linton, and he needed it now. He needed it before he somehow mustered up the strength to take matters into his own hands and do something himself. 

But he couldn't. 

He couldn't because before he could say anything– as if he could– Linton was off of him, but only to remove their clothes. He very quickly rid himself of his t-shirt and jeans, then did the same for Tobias, throwing their clothes to a random spot on the floor. Accuracy for a specific area of the room wasn't something that was on his mind right now. All he wanted to do was ravage Tobias and make him beg for him. 

Cool fingertips dipped below the waistline of Tobias's boxers in contrast to his burning skin. Tobias tucked his lower lip between his teeth and stayed as still as possible for now since he knew he'd be moving a lot within the hour. If he was already a mess, he could only imagine how bad he'd be once Linton really got started. 

Of course Tobias had had sex with other people during their time apart, but no one was like Linton. No one was as good. 

At a painfully slow speed, Linton began tugging down Tobias's boxers, mindful of the tent at the front of them. Tobias wanted to yell at him to take them off, but he knew that shouting would get him nowhere. If anything, it would piss Linton off and he'd go even slower. 

"How bad do you want my fingers?" Linton asked as he cocked his head to the side and gazed up at Tobias, "Tell me and I'll give you what you want."

"Bad. I want them so bad," Tobias said quickly in a hushed tone of voice. Clearing his throat, he let out a ragged exhale as Linton pulled his boxers down further, his cock lowering as the waistline traveled over it slowly. The contact made Tobias's hips twitch up sensitively and he moaned quietly to himself, speaking more to urge Linton to take them off completely. "Please, Linton, I want you to finger me."

"You _want_ me to finger you? Or do you _need_ me to?"

Tobias groaned in frustration and threw his head back onto the bed, his hands coming up to hide his face as he rocked his hips up again. "Yes, okay, I _need_ you to do something to me, please, _please_ , Linton."

That was good another for the former ghoul. Without wasting another second, he removed Tobias's boxers and threw them to the floor, his gaze immediately landing on his cock as it sprung up. Tobias groaned from the sudden relief of pressure and exhaled deeply, looking down at Linton as he removed his hands from his face.

"Please, Linton," Tobias whispered out, his eyes reflecting his desperation and his chest rising and falling with each deep breath he took. To Linton, the sight was beautiful, but in only a matter of time would it become stunning. As his fingers flicked up the hot skin of Tobias's cock, he drank in the small hitch in his breath and smirked to himself when Tobias begged again, "Please touch me, I need it."

"You're pathetic," Linton spat as his smirk widened. 

He stood from where he was, but only to rummage through his drawer for lube. Once he found it, he popped the cap off and squirted some of the liquid onto his fingers, unceremoniously throwing the bottle next to Tobias on the bed. Though he was desperate to do something to Tobias, he still took precautions with lube. 

"Keep your legs spread," he commanded, his voice darker than it had been before. Tobias obeyed immediately, parting his legs more than they already were and waiting almost impatiently for Linton. Thankfully, he didn't have to wait much longer after that.

The larger man got in between his legs just like he had before and without warning, slipped one finger into Tobias as his other hand worked at a steady pace on his cock. It was much faster than the speed that Tobias usually went at when he was just beginning to touch himself, so a gasp was drawn from him along with a moan, his eyes shutting as he went slack against the bed. Linton pushed his finger in to the hilt, not stopping until it couldn't go any further. He moved it around to get a feel for Tobias on the inside— Prodding his fingertip against his walls and rubbing to see what kind of reaction he could draw from his former lead singer. 

Linton wanted to break Tobias. Although things between them were sorted out now, he still had pent up frustration from their past. This was the only time he could ever utilize it to his full potential without hurting Tobias. 

Unless it was consensual. 

"More," Tobias begged as he pulled at the comforter. One finger of Linton's wasn't doing enough for him and he was positive that Linton knew that. Raising his head, he looked down at him and locked eye contact with him, his pleas beginning to tumble out of him, "Give me more."

"... Really? _'Give me more'_?" Linton scoffed and slowed his hand abruptly. His grip loosened and he shook his head, a faint look of annoyance tainting his facial features. "Aren't you forgetting something, _pet_?"

Tobias hesitated from the nickname. He whimpered below his breath from that mixed with the loss of stimulation to his cock, nodding once before correcting himself, "I– I meant... please give me more... Sir."

The response apparently met Linton's expectations since seeing as once he didn't reply, he tightened his grip on Tobias's cock and stroked at the same pace as before, all while he slid a second finger into him. He allowed Tobias no time to adjust to the sudden intrusion, but instead began working his fingers in and out of him at a torturous pace. His fingers were longer and thicker than Tobias's and even though Tobias had had his fair share of having toys inside of him, they were nothing in comparison to Linton's digits. He found himself almost attempting to squirm away from how good it made him feel, mostly because Linton was drilling his fingertips into his prostate with each deep, fast thrust. 

The insides of Tobias's thighs trembled as Linton leaned down to bite at the tops of them, whimpering out his newfound title and reaching down to run his fingers through his hair. Linton knew that Tobias was already coming apart and he loved it. He only wanted it to progress. 

Not that he'd lead Tobias anywhere right away. He wanted this to last. 

"Tell me how you feel," Linton demanded. He shared a sharp gaze with Tobias and growled, nearly jamming his fingers into Tobias to feel an even deeper part of him. Tobias sputtered out a pitiful gasp followed by a moan, his face immediately burning red afterwards. His cock twitched in Linton's grasp, causing Linton to squeeze at the base and flick his wrist at the tip, hoping that the action would earn a verbal response from Tobias. "Tell me or I'll stop. Don't test me, pet."

"It feels so good," Tobias said through an exhale. He breathed quickly and shallowly while his hips rolled up off the bed and into Linton's touches, the burning sensation in his pelvis aching and desperate for more. He pulled at Linton's hair and earned a groan from him, along with a sinful massage directly to his prostate, the pleasure being too much for him to speak. Pathetically, he stammered and stuttered, eager to respond so Linton wouldn't stop what he was doing. "It... It's... Oh _god_ , Linton– Sir, it's so good, it's _so_ good, _please_."

Linton chuckled darkly and brought his fingers to Tobias's tip, massaging the head teasingly to send him closer to the edge. He wouldn't allow him to go over it, but he wanted to see how long Tobias could hold off. 

"Mm, good... Now tell me what you want after this... After my hands are off of you and my cock is just as hard as yours, what do you want?" Linton asked, his voice low enough to send vibrations through his own chest.

Tobias felt close already and he didn't know why. Linton was drawing reactions from him like it was nothing and he couldn't control himself. Linton demanded ownership of his body and Tobias willingly handed it over without even realizing it. 

He wasn't ashamed of that, though. Linton was making him feel better than anyone else ever had and he never wanted it to end. However, he _did_ want Linton to do more to him. 

"I want you to fuck me," Tobias said in a dazed tone. From the way Linton's fingers felt on his tip and against his prostate, he swore that he could see the entire solar system whenever he blinked. The borders of his vision started to blur whenever his eyes were open due to how good he felt and he couldn't even describe it. His lower half was becoming tight with heat and pleasure, and he wasn't able to fight it off. He wasn't about to tell Linton to stop just so he wouldn't cum, so he stuck with the sensation and spoke as coherently as possible, "I want you to fuck me till... till I'm– oh, _please_ , Sir, _theeere_...– till I'm... I'm..."

"Until you're what, slut? Tell me what you want," Linton growled. His hand wrapped around Tobias's cock again and stroked with a tight grip, the sudden action making Tobias whine and throw his hips up like he had done before. He could feel that Tobias was getting close, but that only fueled him to stimulate him more. 

Tobias was whimpering and tugging at Linton's hair frantically as his orgasm crept up more and more. Whenever he attempted to speak, nothing but pathetic, high-pitched whines fell from his lips as his eyebrows furrowed and his face contorted into one of pleasure. 

"I... Sir, I'm gonna– I'm–"

Mere moments before Tobias could cum, Linton yanked his hands away from him and grabbed Tobias's wrists to hold him back from touching himself. The ripple of denied pleasure that wracked and shook Tobias's body was enough to move the area of the bed that Linton was on and the absolutely slutty moan that came from him was loud enough to overpower the music that was still playing in the living room. All Linton did was smirk as he watched Tobias's body beg and twitch as it searched for the release it so desperately needed. If he could do this to Tobias everyday, he would. He'd love to destroy him then fuck him back together whenever possible. 

When Tobias released a noise that made it sound like he was crying, Linton laughed shortly and looked down at him with a smile. "Oh, look at you, Tobias! You're about to cry, aren't you?"

Tobias's face and chest went dark red from being talked down to and it didn't help how he felt. His legs were shaking and his breathing was uneven to the point of where he felt lightheaded. Being edged so suddenly and so harshly was something he wasn't used to, but something he was now enjoying... and despising at all once. 

"Are you gonna cry for me, baby? Are you gonna cry for your master, little slut? Is that what you're gonna do?" Linton continued, his tone dropping to one that showcased how much he was degrading Tobias. He ran his fingers down his cheek to soothe him, waiting until Tobias nudged back into the touch before he grabbed his jaw hard enough to hurt. The grip made Tobias inhale sharply through his nose and grunt in discomfort, having no choice but to look Linton in the eye as he talked down to him again, "That's all you are, Tobias... You're just a slut who's desperate for his master's cock... Isn't that right?"

"Yes, _yes_ , Sir, it's right, it's all right," Tobias said quickly. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, only to look at Linton again when he opened them. He was overstimulated beyond belief, but he wanted Linton inside of him. 

Scratch that. He _needed_ Linton inside of him.

He felt empty now that his fingers were out of him and he needed that feeling back. He needed Linton to use him and make him feel like he was meant to be fucked so deep into the mattress that he couldn't move afterwards. That's what Tobias wanted, after all. He wanted Linton to fuck him like it was their last day on earth and he wanted him to be absolutely ruthless with all that he did. He knew Linton could do it. He knew he had it inside of him. 

Before Linton could do anything else, Tobias lifted his legs and wrapped them around Linton's waist, tugging his lower half down to grind up against him. Even though his cock was sensitive, he wanted to show Linton that he wanted this. He wanted to show Linton that he was willing to be torn apart by him and fucked back together afterwards. 

" _Please_ , Sir... Fuck me," Tobias begged in a quiet voice. He moaned under his breath when his cock brushed against the material of Linton's boxers, but he didn't let it deter him from what he was doing. "Fuck me like the slut I am for you... Destroy me, master, please."

Fire flickered in Linton's gaze as he exhaled deeply, his grip on Tobias's jaw loosening. He hadn't expected him to do much of anything in return, but now that he was, he wanted to see more of it. He wanted Tobias to keep begging for what he wanted. 

When Linton didn't reply, Tobias amped up his actions. He began to grind harder against him as he dug his heels into his lower back to keep him close, dragging his nails over Linton's shoulders almost hard enough to draw blood. Linton grunted and allowed his lips to part as Tobias moaned his name out and shot him a gaze of longing, hoping his words would be enough for Linton, "I want you to take me from behind... I want you to fuck me until my legs are shaking and my body hurts from how hard you've taken me... Please, Sir. Fuck me."

Linton didn't hesitate after that. He couldn't. 

Getting himself off of Tobias, he stood up and ripped his boxers off, smacking Tobias's leg when he saw that he hadn't moved. If Tobias wanted him so bad, surely he would've moved already. 

"Have you already forgotten what you said? Move, slut. Face down, ass up," Linton said sternly. 

Now it was Tobias's turn to act fast. He quickly got onto his knees on the bed and bent over, turning his head to place the side of his face on the mattress. In his wanton display, he looked over at Linton and just barely began swaying his hips from side to side, attempting to taunt him furthermore. 

"Come and fuck me, Sir," Tobias said in an innocent tone, one that sent flames ablaze in Linton's gaze again. As Linton grabbed the lube and spread it evenly along his length, he watched as Tobias continued to tease him by wiggling his hips subtly and maintaining steady eye contact with him, all while speaking in that nearly childlike tone of voice. "I know you have pent up anger... Hate fuck me. Take it out on me, Sir. I promise I'll be good."

Linton couldn't reply even if he wanted to. He was beyond turned on at that point and he couldn't take it anymore. If he didn't have Tobias at that moment, he was going to lose his mind. 

Silently, he positioned himself behind Tobias with one hand on Tobias's hip to keep him somewhat still as the other grabbed his own length to press the tip against Tobias's entrance. The sight itself was something straight out of a dream– One that Linton had only wished to live. Tobias rested his head back down on the bed and braced himself for what Linton was about to do to him, though nothing could fully prepare him for what was to come. 

Without any sort of warning, Linton pressed himself into Tobias quickly and didn't stop until Tobias's ass was pressed back against his hips. Tobias gasped loudly as tears burned his eyes and his legs trembled, a pained cry leaving his lips. Linton ignored his noises and reached down with his now free hand to grab Tobias's shoulder to keep himself buried deep within him, a groan finding its way out of him as he sank into the feeling of Tobias's tight heat around him. 

Linton was thicker than Tobias thought. He felt like he was going to cry if Linton moved because his size was too much for him to handle. Not only was he a more than adequate length, but he was also in possession of a godly width. Tobias all but spoke as adjusted to the feeling of Linton buried completely inside of him, his shoulders arching back and his breathing heavy, nearly frantic, from how aroused he was. 

"I won't be forgiving, pet," Linton said with a harsh slam of his hips, the movement somehow sending him further into Tobias. Tobias made an entirely unflattering noise which Linton ignored and instead slammed into him again with a grunt, squeezing Tobias's shoulder hard enough that it almost hurt him. He seethed through his teeth and growled out his words, becoming completely feral within a moment's notice, "I don't intend to stop even if you cry and scream."

Tobias couldn't bring himself to care. It would take a lot for him to want Linton to stop. At the time, all he wanted was for Linton to unleash whatever rage he had within him and exert it onto him, and although it seemed like it would hurt Tobias for the next few days, he knew it'd be worth it. He knew he wanted this. 

Releasing Tobias's shoulder, Linton grasped his hips tight enough to bruise before pulling back abruptly then thrusting into him the same way, immediately building up an unforgiving pace, just as he said he would. Tobias felt his face being pushed down into the mattress from the intensity of the thrusts, but he didn't bother to move. His mouth fell agape to release all of the sounds that Linton was forcing out of him with the rough thrusts of his cock and his body tensed without showing any signs of relaxing anytime soon. 

He could hardly comprehend anything that was happening at that moment. He was whining more than he believed he ever would and he was submitting completely to Linton, as if he actually were his master. His fingers curled tight enough in the comforter to make his knuckles turn white as he attempted to push back against Linton, only to be held tighter and forced back to where his hips had been before. 

"Look at how pathetic you are," Linton spat out to him. He watched as Tobias writhed below him then groaned when he tightened around his cock suddenly, angling his hips to hit his prostate head on. When Tobias released a near shout of his title, he chuckled and aimed elsewhere, wanting to give him something to beg for when he was done speaking, "You really are just a slut for me, aren't you? Screaming for me? You'll cry for me, won't you... I know you will."

"Sir, _please_ ," Tobias begged as he struggled in Linton's grasp. While his current movements were rough and fast, he wanted more. He knew Linton could go harder, but he also knew that he had to earn that. Even though the skin at his backside was burning and stinging with each rough clap of Linton's hips against it, he wanted it to hurt to sit. He wanted to be sore because of Linton. At this point he would be, but not as sore as he wanted. He wanted all the pain that Linton could make him feel. He wanted to feel it and remind himself of how good Linton had fucked him. Pressing his forehead down to the bed, Tobias groaned loudly as his knees threatened to give out again, his entire body shaking as if it were the epicenter of an earthquake as he begged more, " _Harder_ , give it to me harder."

Linton complied instantly, but not without muttering 'desperate slut' under his breath as he gripped Tobias even tighter to begin pulling him back against him whenever he brought his hips forward. His own breathing was a mess by now, but he ignored it in order to fuck Tobias how they both wanted– Hard enough to hurt. 

If his previous pace hadn't been vengeful enough, the one he built up after it was.

He constantly shifted his hips after every few thrusts to tease Tobias, drilling and pounding into him as if he hadn't gotten laid in years. The feeling of Tobias spasming around him and twitching was driving him insane and he couldn't think of a better way to feel more of it. Groans fell freely from his lips as his head tipped back and his teeth caught his lower lip between them, not letting up with the rhythm he set. 

Beneath him, Tobias couldn't help but release a long moan. He heaved so hard that it began sounding like he was crying and soon enough, he almost was. 

Linton was destroying him. Tears burned hot in his eyes as Linton hit then struck just shy of his prostate over and over again, never being enough to bring Tobias to the orgasm he was denied earlier. He began begging nonsensically as often as he could, though all that came out were broken cries of Linton's title and his name. Linton was fucking him until all he could say was his name through pitiful shouts and whimpers as he struggled in his grasp. Tobias knew he was acting absolutely wrecked, but that's because he was. He couldn't help but come undone because of Linton. 

Before he knew it, tears were sliding down his cheeks. He didn't realize it at first. It was only when Linton brought them up that he felt them tickling his skin amongst everything else he felt. 

"You're such a fucking slut, Tobias. Crying while I fuck you? How much more desperate could you get?" Linton said, even though his tone was full of desperation. Without a doubt, he was close to his own release, but he wanted to last longer. He wanted Tobias to cum first. 

"Oh... Linton, Sir, I'm close," Tobias said through a cry that ripped out of him. He sniffled as his cock hung heavy between his legs and made a mess with its pre-cum, his hands gripping the comforter as hard as possible to refrain from touching himself. A second cry came from him unexpectedly when he opened his mouth, more tears falling from his eyes with his words, "Please let me cum, I need to– I _need_ to."

"Fuck..."

Linton's gut clenched and he slammed his hips forward to ignore it, unknowingly aiming for Tobias's prostate. Tobias let out a strangled sounding cry of his name as he shook even harder below his fingers, shouting out his pleads as coherently as possible. 

Linton couldn't hold back anymore. With his cock completely engulfed by Tobias and Tobias crying because he needed to cum, but couldn't since there was no stimulation to his length, Linton gave in. 

He took one hand and reached down, wrapping his fingers around Tobias to stroke him. Tobias couldn't make any noise at that point. He was crying too hard to do so. 

Pleasure burst like fireworks throughout his body, so much so that he couldn't even understand its intensity. He let himself go limp to allow Linton to hold him up as his orgasm finally broke out of him. 

Hard and suddenly, Tobias came. His legs gave out and if it weren't for Linton's grip, he would've fallen to the bed. He tightened almost unbearably secure around Linton's member and chanted his name as he came, his eyes squeezing shut and his hips rolling back against Linton with such ease and elegance that it sent Linton over the edge with a heavy groan from the center of his chest. He pushed as far as he could into Tobias and released, his hands shaking as he held Tobias up. 

If anyone were outside the house, they could surely hear the two. Their moans were loud enough to echo and bounce off the walls and they were positive that they both shook so hard that the bed itself moved from where it was on the floor. 

Linton couldn't see straight for at least two minutes after he came and Tobias couldn't breathe for what felt like centuries. They were both worn out and extremely sensitive– Even the slightest bit of movement made them groan and gasp to themselves. 

Neither of them could a remember a time where they came so hard. Their bodies were sticky with sweat and they were panting so hard that they were wasting more oxygen than a group of school children running in gym. They didn't want the feeling to die completely, but they needed a break. They needed to calm down. 

After a few minutes, Linton pulled out of Tobias and flopped down onto the bed beside him. Tobias laid in his own release, too tired to care about how disgusting it was in all actuality. He didn't want to move. He couldn't. His body hurt, but just as he suspected, it was worth it. 

Over their breaths, they could hear the music coming from the living room. It escaped both of their minds that the stereo was left on. The song was light and lively compared to the rather dark and rough round of sex they had. Through his state of pure exhaustion, Linton managed to crack a smile and reach out to very lightly touch Tobias's back. 

"This song..." He mumbled in a hoarse voice, "You hear it?"

It took a Tobias a second to come back to reality, but when he did, he tuned into what song was playing. A very faint smile curved his lips as he nodded twice, his head still pressed to the mattress. "Mhm... Good song."

_...I just want to use your love tonight, I don't want to lose your love tonight..._

Linton forced himself to sit up, his arms behind him and bent at the elbow. He looked down at Tobias and smiled tiredly, chuckling to himself as he admired him. 

Aside from what just went down, he loved Tobias. He didn't mean to hurt him, but at the same time, it felt good to unleash whatever he had inside of him.

"Do you need anything? Water, aspirin, food..?" Linton asked, a hand of his coming forward to brush his fingers through Tobias's hair. 

Tobias shook his head then offered a soft reply, "No, I'm okay... but don't leave."

Linton smiled. "I won't."

_...You know I'd do anything for you, stay the night but keep it undercover..._

Laying down beside Tobias, he pulled himself closer rather than moving Tobias and kissed his head. The least he could do was be gentle now. He didn't want Tobias to be in discomfort as he drifted off to sleep and although he couldn't very well prevent that anymore, he wanted to do at least something for him. 

"I love you," he whispered to him. There was no need to speak up. They were right next to one another and the moment was calm. Grinning softly, Linton then ran his fingers down Tobias's back, tracing his spine as Tobias smiled subconsciously. "You know that, right?"

"Mhm," he hummed, "I love you, too."

_...And don't forget what I told you..._

It didn't take long for Tobias to fall asleep. Linton couldn't blame him. He could only imagine how tired he was after something like that. The tears on his cheeks dried as he drifted off and Linton stayed where he was just to ogle over him, not daring to move away from him for even a second. 

Even after something like that, Linton didn't want to be away from Tobias. He was attached to him and didn't want to think about being anywhere else. Tobias was all he needed and he knew that. He knew it too well. 

Eventually, Linton fell asleep next to Tobias, their bodies tangling together as one undecidedly as they slept.


	10. 10. You’re All I Need

## 10\. You’re All I Need

Tobias and Linton's relationship was flourishing. After awhile, they came around to the fact that they didn't want to hide their love anymore. They wanted to flaunt what they had no matter what people said. 

Simon and Mauro were upset with Linton at first, and a bit surprised, but they didn't judge him for it. They couldn't. He had the balls to confront Tobias and fix what happened between them and they hadn't done that yet. Linton was stronger than them and they knew it. They were in no position to judge him or get on him for falling back in love with Tobias. 

Gradually, people began respecting Tobias more and more. He showed signs of improvement socially and mutually, And it didn't go unnoticed. He won people's respect back and it meant the world to him. He never knew that something as abstract as that could mean so much to him, but now that he had it again after losing it for so long, he never wanted to be without it again. It helped him in ways he couldn't even describe and he had Linton to thank for that. If it weren't for him, Tobias still would've been in the rut Linton found him in and his career would've started failing. That was the last thing he wanted and thankfully, it wasn't going to happen. 

To say that they were happy was an understatement. The two were all over each other constantly and acted as a support system for one another. Whenever one needed something, no matter what it was, the other would try and help. They'd be there for them and attempt to support them through whatever they were going through and most of the time, it paid off. It felt good to be able to lean on someone they trusted. They felt like one another's home and neither of them would be moving anytime soon.

Linton moved in with Tobias shortly after the sexual side to their relationship rekindled, although that wasn't the reason why he moved. He couldn't stand being without him and Tobias felt the same, so as quickly as they could, they ushered Linton into his living space. They were both hesitant and worried about how it would turn out, but they quickly noticed that they had nothing to stress over. Linton and Tobias had a work and living dynamic that worked perfectly for the two of them and it only made their lives easier. 

Being with Tobias constantly was like a dream. Linton never thought he'd say that again, but now he could. Life felt complete with Tobias by his side and even though it was cliché, he wasn't afraid to admit it aloud. All of his past fears of coming off as too dependent or too obsessed vanished now that he was with Tobias again. He freely expressed himself and Tobias did the same, which Linton loved. They were completely and entirely uninhibited with one another and they couldn't ask for anything better. 

"I'm gonna get up and sing," Tobias said to Linton as they sat in the bar. Linton looked over at him and playfully rolled his eyes, swirling his cup around to make the liquid in it twirl as well. Chuckling, Tobias looked at the stage that was open for karaoke then looked back at Linton with a grin. "Come on. You can't lie. You love it when I sing to you."

"You're gonna sing for me in public?" Linton scoffed, "You're just a show off."

"No, I just love you."

Linton bit back a grin, but the blush on his cheeks gave away how he felt. He turned away from Tobias and shook his head, taking a drink from his cup 

Honestly, he wouldn't mind if Tobias sang to him. He would just be a flustered mess and wouldn't know how to respond. He loved being like that, but at the same time, he felt bad because he didn't know how to respond. Words would escape him during those moments and he'd be left to just beam at Tobias like a crazy man. 

Tobias loved it when Linton smiled at him. His smile could make even the darkest days brighter than ever. If Tobias were on his deathbed and literally dying, Linton's smile would probably be able to save his life. 

Alright, not really. But that's just to say how much he loved Linton's smile. 

"I'm gonna do it. Get ready," Tobias warned him as he stood up from the table. 

Linton whined softly and pulled the glass away from his lips, shaking his head at Tobias. "No, come on! Sit with me!"

"I will once I'm done. I promise." Before he walked away, he leaned over and kissed Linton's head, earning a smile from him. He brushed his fingers through his hair to fix it then smiled back, giving him an adoring stare with his words, "Trust me on this. It'll be good."

Linton sighed softly, but the grin stayed. Grabbing Tobias's hand, he took it from his head and held it to his lips instead to kiss his knuckles several times. "Fine. But only because I love you."

"I love you, too. Stay here."

"I have nowhere else to go since you'll be hogging the stage."

"Shut it!"

Before Linton could make anymore comments, Tobias went up to the stage. He had something up his sleeve like always and kept Linton in the dark about it. However, this surprise was good. He knew Linton would be impressed. 

He'd probably cry, too. But Linton was sensitive sometimes so that was to be expected no matter what Tobias did for him. 

Linton watched Tobias grab the microphone then speak to the DJ was who in charge of the music, smiling to himself as he did so. Tobias always went out of the way to do things like this for him. Linton wished he could be the same way, but he wasn't like that. Thankfully, Tobias didn't mind since Linton showed his love for him in other ways, but still. Linton wanted to be as adorably disgusting as Tobias was sometimes. 

Suddenly, the microphone turned on with a very quiet squeal, one loud enough to earn everyone's attention. The bar fell silent momentarily as they looked at Tobias, who was smiling and looking around, though his gaze always found its way back to Linton, just like it had been doing since school. 

"I'd like to dedicate this song to my wonderful partner, Linton. He's always been there for me, even when things got tough, and he's done so much for me, so... Linton, this one is for you," Tobias said, his eyes focusing on Linton at the end of his sentence. 

Linton felt people staring at him, which caused him to blush again, but he didn't look at anyone besides Tobias during those moments. He was the only one who meant something to him. 

With one last smile, the music started and almost instantly, Linton recognized the song. He wanted to slam his head against the table and cry already. Of course Tobias would pick a song that would make him want to sob and run onstage just to kiss him. He was an asshole like that, but Linton moved it. 

_"I know that he's waiting for me to stay forever, I know that I sometimes just don't know what to tell him,"_ Tobias began, his eyes holding contact with Linton. Linton felt like he was going to melt into a puddle of tears where he sat, but he didn't. Instead, he maintained his composure and hit his lip, listening carefully to what Tobias said and how he sang the words, _"I want to hold and kiss him, give him my love, make him believe 'cause he doesn't know..."_

Linton's heart like it was going to burst as Tobias sang. Never had someone treated him as well as Tobias did. He knew that no one else could ever top all that his lover was. Someone like that didn't exist because Tobias was as perfect as perfect was. 

Leaning his cheek on his fist, he watched as Tobias sang directly to him. Not even for a second did Tobias's eyes wander elsewhere. Linton was all that he ever wanted to look at and he was glad that the feeling was mutual. 

_"I know I've never told him how much I love him... I see his face before me, I look in his eyes, wondering why he doesn't know... he doesn't know."_

If Heaven had a place on Earth, it'd be in that bar at that very moment. Linton felt like he was floating through clouds and he never wanted to land. He wanted to stay in that little paradise of his and he wanted Tobias with him. 

Tobias sang the words so tenderly that Linton felt them caress him. They engulfed him in a warm blanket of joy and he never wanted to leave. He'd grow cold without Tobias's acts of love and he wasn't ready for that. He couldn't face the frigid temperatures that came with being alone. 

_"You're all I need beside me, babe, you're all I need to turn my world, you're all I want inside my heart, you're all I need when we're apart..."_

Linton was glad that he hadn't cried yet because later on, he would be. He just didn't know it. He was completely in the dark when it came to what Tobias had planned and while it was for the best, Tobias was anxious about his reaction. He didn't want to make himself look like an idiot in public, but he'd risk it for Linton. 

The things he'd do for Linton were limitless. If Linton wanted the sun, Tobias would find a way to harness it and bring it to him. If Linton wanted to be rich, Tobias would work every second of the day to bring home money for them. If Linton wanted anything at all, Tobias would provide him with it. 

Linton deserved the world and Tobias hoped he gave it to him. 

Little did he know that he was Linton's world. 

_"All that I need is for you to believe... All that I need is you..."_

The song came to an end and Linton couldn't bring himself to do anything but smile. People clapped for Tobias, but Linton was paralyzed in the best way possible. Tobias never ceased to surprise him and Tobias knew that, which is partially why he did it time and time again. Pleasing Linton was his favorite thing to do. 

"Alright, now... I know that the song is over, but I have one thing that I want to do before I leave," Tobias said suddenly. 

That earned Linton's attention. 

He sat up slowly with a puzzled confusion on his face and Tobias recognized that. All he did was smile at him and take a breath in, then let it out. 

"I'm Tobias and this is my speech."

Linton recognized those words instantly and he nearly smiled so wide that his face hurt. 

Tobias's graduation speech. From all those years ago. He held it so dear to his heart and he never thought he'd hear it again, but here they were. Amongst a crowd with Tobias reliving what he had said the day that they graduated. 

"People say that true love can't break... That we only go through it once and that if it fails that it was for the better. Some people believe that and others don't. That's alright. We can't really force people to agree on everything because that isn't how life works," Tobias said with a smile curving his lips near the end of his words.

His eyes met Linton's and he paused, his heart racing in his chest and his hand shaking as it held the microphone. The stare that Linton was giving him was making him nervous, but he had to keep going. It would all make sense in the end. 

"I remember the day when Linton came back to upper secondary school. I wasn't looking to befriend him. I didn't want to do anything except graduate... Here I am now– Here _we_ are now; together. But I have to be honest with you all... we didn't have the greatest experience with love. I thought we would, but then that changed. Things always change."

Linton bit his lower lip and nodded a few times in agreement, a smile immediately forming afterwards. He rested his chin on both of his hands when he leaned forward to place his elbows on the table, his eyes on Tobias as a way of telling him to go on. He had his full attention and he wasn't going to lose it. 

Tobias, being the mess of nerves that he was, chuckled softly then went on, attempting to sound confident with what he was saying, "I ruined a lot of things in my life. I took money from my friends because I thought that being rich was the answer to everything, but newsflash! It isn't! ... I can't believe I was so ignorant, but at least I'm not as bad as other people. At least I didn't kill anyone... I spent years breaking people down to make myself feel good and in the long run, it didn't do anything for me. I realize how awful I am now and I'm sorry, even though they aren't here to hear me say it. I shouldn't have done all that because that's low. That's really, really low and I'm sorry."

Linton felt a pang of sadness hit his chest because he knew how hard it was for Tobias to talk about what happened. He wanted to reverse time and stop him from doing everything that he did, but he couldn't. At least Tobias could fess up to it now. That made it easier, he assumed. 

Before Linton could feel any worse, Tobias began speaking again, "But now, I'm gonna tell you all what changed that for me. What made me think about someone other than myself and made me give a damn about other people... I should say 'who' because it's a person who did this for me. Not a 'what.'"

After looking out at the people in the bar, he looked at Linton and grinned. Pointing to him, he waved his finger in a 'come hither' motion and nodded along with it. Even though Linton was hesitant and shy at first, he stood up, his heart rate speeding up as he got a feel for what was happening. 

He assumed his position next to Tobias onstage and smiled at him as he blushed dark red, a hand of his resting on Tobias's lower back. Tobias turned to him and grinned before looking away again, continuing what he was about to say, "Albin– who actually goes by Linton, his middle name– Rubino changed a lot for me over these past few years. At the beginning of our relationship, I picked on him relentlessly during AP calc and I danced with him to Whitney Houston in gym class, then I started having feelings for him. Thankfully, he felt the same because shortly after graduation, we began dating and we stayed together... He loved me and I loved him, but since life is cruel and I was a dick... full shade at myself... things fell through. We didn't like each other for a long time, but now... we do. Linton confronted me and we worked things out like civil human beings, which wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, actually.

"He made me compassionate and empathetic, and I can't believe someone finally did that for me. I shouldn't have been such a dick to everyone to make it seem like I was cool because fuck, let me tell you– Linton has showed me a whole new world full of emotion and sincerity, and I love it. I don't know what I'd do without him."

That earned a few laughs from people scattered in the bar. Linton shook his head and gave Tobias a gentle smack on the back, earning his attention along with a chuckle. It was the truth and Linton knew that, but he still didn't want Tobias to tear himself down. 

With a sigh, Tobias looked away and bit his lip, anxiety radiating off of him. Linton rubbed his back to attempt to soothe him even though he was just as anxious for what else he was going to say, his eyes focused on him like they had been many times before to watch as he got his words out. 

"I know this society is now accepting of people who aren't straight, so I expect a bit of support here..." Tobias said with a soft laugh, causing others to laugh as well. After that, he turned to Linton and stepped to the side, his hand on his shoulder and his eyes locked on Linton's. "This man. This amazingly talented musician and artist right here is my boyfriend. And god, I fucking love him. I love him... And I've recently been wondering if he'd like to marry me."

Linton expected this, but nothing prepared him from the shock of it all. He purses his lips together and brought his hands up to cover his mouth as tears formed in his eyes, looking away and shutting his eyes as he chuckled to himself just to remind himself that this was happening. This was reality. Tobias had just said that to him and recreated his graduation speech along with it. 

This was too good to be true. It had to be fake. 

But it wasn't. 

When he looked at Tobias again, Tobias was down on one knee and holding a ring up to Linton– One that glinted in the light coming from the lights above the stage. His heart stopped in his chest as he looked down at Tobias and he swallowed thickly, his entire body going weak as Tobias said those four infamous words.

"Will you marry me?"

Linton didn't even have to think about his answer. Since the first time Tobias said that he loved him, he knew he was going to marry him. Their love was inevitable and that was evident now. 

"Yes," Linton said quickly. He nodded his head as tears finally escaped his eyes, laughing happily through his shaky words and stammers, "Yes, I'll marry you, you... you dumbass. You didn't even have to ask, I would've married you anyway, oh my god."

"I wanted to ask just to make sure!" Tobias laughed out. He smiled at Linton then shut off the microphone before resting it on the stage to grab Linton's hand. The moment was surreal to him, but it was reality. He was really about to place this ring onto Linton's finger. 

With shaky hands, Tobias slid the ring on and smiled once he fit it into place. He didn't notice the people cheering and hollering for them because he was too lost in the feeling of everything to notice. His heart wanted to burst out of him and run around the bar, and he wanted to hold Linton so tight that not even the strong winds of a hurricane could rip them apart. 

As Tobias stood back up, Linton cupped his cheeks in his hands and smiled brightly at him through his tears, pulling him close to speak as clearly as possible, "Oh my god, I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you, too. More than anything," Tobias said back.

He leaned in and closed the space between them, his hands finding Linton's cheeks to hold them and keep him where he was. He didn't care if they were in public. He wasn't afraid to kiss Linton like his life depended on it. 

Linton was the love of his life and he knew that. After everything they went through, they found their way back to each other and fell in love again, just like how it was meant to be. 

They meant the world to each other and they couldn't stress it enough. This was love and they knew it– And they were never going to let it go.


End file.
